Well Wouldn't You Know
by SuperSillyStories
Summary: Underneath the cocky exterior is a giant tease. Behind that is James Diamond, the pretty-boy with a heart of gold who has his eyes on Laura, a girl who can't seem to snag a good first date until James rolls along.. Reviews would help a lot!
1. Never Right

Laura Ramone assumed herself to be an okay gal. She had a pretty great job at Let's Talk Magazine which gave her a definitely nice pay check to have. Laura lived in a pretty good penthouse condominium; she had a beautiful Rottweiler named Gizmo for a friend. She thought she was a pretty attractive girl, slender with dark wavy hair, tan skin, light brown eyes. If she was such a great girl then why the fuck can't she have one god damn successful date?

Currently she was seated in a fine Italian restaurant. She was supposed to meet one of her coworkers there for a date. She'd only been in Los Angeles for a couple of months, so she blew off dating until she finally felt settled in. Now that she was finally ready to date, this twenty-three year old couldn't find one person in a city of supposedly beautiful people! Her hair was pulled back into a bun, with strands of hair framing her face. She wore a black lace dress with red heels, red lipstick, and light eye make-up. All that preparation for this Friday night date went to waste as she sat there for nearly an hour with not even a word from the man she was to meet. Five more minutes, she had told the waiter who was delivering her a fourth cocktail. She leaned back in her chair, daydreaming and remembering the day after she moved into her new place from New York, when she interviewed her cousin's band for the magazine.

"_Alright boys. So it seems like you have it all. You have the money, the fame, the millions of teenage girls wanting to have your children. So what's missing?" She asked, crossing her legs over one another as she leaned forward to hear their response. There was a tape recorder between them on the coffee table, and a camera man behind her filming the interview for when she was to put it in an article._

"_A girlfriend!" James Maslow threw his arms up in the air and looked right at the camera, "Ladies! Please! I'm the only single man here someone needs to fix this!" _

_Laura laughed and shook her head, "So only James is the single one huh? What's that like? Any one of you guys going to fix that?"_

"_Well, Carlos apparently has a hot cousin moving in from New York. Wait she already moved in right?" James said leaning forward to face Carlos._

"_Yeah she moved in yesterday, we're going to see her tonight and take her out for dinner."_

"_Yeah so, I'm hoping she's hot and pretty awesome." Laura had to hold back a laugh, the guys didn't know it was her, except for Carlos obviously, so she had to play it cool so she could enjoy their reactions later on. _

"_Really? Wow, going to try and woo her on the first visit or play it cool?"_

"_He's going to play it cool because they don't know each other, __**right**__ James?" Carlos turned to James who dramatically sighed and nodded. "I guess we'll have to see how it goes"._

_Later that evening when they arrived at the Starbucks they were going to meet her at, James couldn't help but spot her first. "Hey that's the woman who interviewed us this morning!"_

"_Wow no kidding, I'll say hi." Carlos walked over to Laura, who threw her arms out and hugged her cousin. He kissed her cheek and hugged her back, guiding her to his group of friends._

"_Um, well that escalated rather quickly didn't it you guys?" Logan asked, leaning towards the other two, equally confused gentlemen._

"_Hey guys, I'd like you to officially meet Laura. My cousin." Laura smirked and tilted her head at James who blushed remembering what he had said earlier that day._

"_I uhh…uhhhhhhh…. I ..err" He stumbled over his words which earned a laugh from her._

"_Don't worry about it. Nice to officially meet you Desperate James." She said, sticking her hand out._

"_Well wouldn't you know, we were interviewed by Carlos' cousin, feeling embarrassed yet James?" Kendall smirked. Shaking her hand, James slowly turned his head to Kendall, glaring at hi, but not uttering a word._

Laura giggled at the memory, after that little incident, the two began to talk, and she was able to see he wasn't just some girl collector, but a rather sweet guy who just went through too many heart breaks. They soon became good friends, best friends actually. When either one of them was bored the two usually met up to hang out. Shaking her head out of the day-dream, she pulled out her phone and leaned on the table, calling James.

"Sheesh, need to get out of the date that badly? I told you I could just call you pretending to be your mother to get you out." He joked, causing Laura to roll her eyes and fight the urge to call him a moron in the middle of this nice restaurant.

"I'll have you know the date didn't even start. He never showed up, so I've been waiting here for an hour like an idiot. With four glasses of coke and marshmallow vodka. They taste like vanilla frosting." James could hear the giggle in her voice at the comparison of a drink to frosting, but could hear the pain she felt of being stood up even more. He sighed, he wanted to find the guy and punch him square in the face for standing up his beautiful best friend, but that wouldn't solve any problems.

"Alright, what restaurant I'll be there to pick you up in twenty."

"It's fine James I can call a cab."

"Is that so? Then why did you call?" She imagined the smirk forming on his face, while James walked to his car to go pick her up.

"I was bored… I'm in Gino's right now just make it quick…"

"I'll be there faster than you could say James Diamond is the sweetest best guy in the world."

"Oh shut up…" She chuckled hanging up the phone and paid the bill for her four drinks. Laura stood up and walked outside, standing in front of the restaurant shivering and waiting for her ride. She saw James' car and ran over to the passenger side, pulling the door open and jumping in. Once she was settled she felt James' eyes gazing over her body.

"Take a picture James."

"Hey I was going to say you look great, but forget it now. So why didn't this guy show huh?" James began driving to her place. Laura sighed, pulling the hem of her dress down a bit more before answering James' question.

"I don't know, I called him twice, and sent a text, but he never answered me."

"He didn't speak to you at all?" James shook his head making a right turn to go down her block. "What a dick, this worked out for you then, you shouldn't go out with such a guy."

"Oh and who's the ideal man for me James? You?" Laura laughed as he parked the car and opened the door stepping out. James chuckled and shook his head but sighed, watching her walk towards the staircase before he left the car. He got out and caught up to her, holding her hand to steady her as she walked up the stairs. When they reached the door Laura pulled out her keys and swung the door wide open, then turned to James.

"Want to come upstairs? It's Friday niiiiight, I don't have a date anymore, you don't have a date, so how about we go upstairs, order a pizza and watch re-runs of the Real Housewives of New Jersey? Huh? Huh? Good plan right?" Laura's smile just had the magic power to make James say yes to whatever she requested. Whether it was to watch TV with her, or even a request to murder someone (which has yet to been asked, but he bets it'll happen at some point) he'd do anything for her in a heartbeat.

"Absolutely, but I'm so team Teresa."

"Dear god I hope you're joking with me right now." She snorted, taking off her heels and walking inside. James laughed closing the door behind him, "I am don't worry, I just love your hatred of her."

"Ugh, she pisses me off!" Laura explained, leaving her shoes by the door, dropping her clutch and phone on the kitchen counter. James followed her, opening the refrigerator and grabbing a beer. Laura didn't drink beer, she found it to be disgusted, but she always kept James' favorite for whenever he stopped by, or when the rest of Big Time Rush came over. She opened a drawer full of menus and pulled one out, handing it to him.

"Alright, large pie, half extra cheese and pepperoni for me, oh and a side of fries. Order anything you want it'll be on me." She took out a few 20's for her wallet and left it there beside him. James snorted opening the menu, "You know I never let you pay right?"

"You know I always try though!" She called as she skipped to her room to put on something more comfortable. He shook his head, scanning the menu when a buzzing sound caught his attention. He looked to the counter and saw her phone vibrating, with the name Max glowing on the screen. "Hey, Laura?"

"Yeah?"

"What was the name of the dude you were supposed to see tonight?"

"Max, why?"

"Just asking!" James smirked and picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"hey….uhhhh…is Laura there?"

"Depends, are you the dirt bag that stood her up on the date?"

"yeah—er no! I mean, no I can explain it see what happened was—"

"Dude. Don't want to hear it, if you don't have the courtesy to give her a call to say you're running late you shouldn't even bother trying again." James hung up the phone just as Laura was walking into the kitchen wearing black sweatpants and a red tank top, she glanced at James who was studying the menu with his finger under his chin. "Pick anything?"

"I'll probably get the zucchini fries to go with my half of the pizza."

"Sausage and green peppers!"

"Exactly." He chuckled and dialed the number while Laura grabbed his beer, and a bottle of water for herself, carrying it into the living room. She put down two coasters, putting the drinks on them before turning the TV on to one of her favorite reality shows. Laura always said reality shows were stupid, mindless entertainment, but oh how they were so addicting to watch the drama unfold, especially if you didn't have any drama of your own. James walked over and threw himself on the couch putting his arms up on the back and glancing down at Laura who simply rolled her eyes.

"OH what now?"

"Nothing James, nothing at all." She chuckled.

"No seriously what is it?"

"There's a stain on your pants, on your ass." James furrowed his eyebrows and he stood up, twisting his grey sweatpants around looking for a stain. Laura snorted, watching the television and James sighed, sitting back down.

"You were kidding weren't you?"

"As usual. Oh you know what I noticed?"

"What, oh lovely great girl you?"

"I know, I'm wonderful. Anyways, I noticed something really important when I saw a clip of one of your shows…"

"And that is?"

"Well, Kendall has no dance training prior to the show or concerts, am I right?"

"Yeah." James nodded facing her as she spoke. She chuckled to herself watching the screen, "Well, he dances pretty…great for someone with no training like you guys. He just seems so much more into it than the rest of you. Also you, Carlos, and sometimes Logan seem to have stiffer hips, his just swing side to side like Shakira. So he's kind of putting you all to shame right now. Get into it Diamond Boy! Dance!"

"Alright, I can't lie when we get to Show Me I do slack off a lot."

"All of you slack."

"Okay are we done criticizing us?" He chuckled laying his feet over her lap.

"Oh, yeah I'm done ,for the moment."

"Great." He shook his head, the two of them watching awful reality television until their delivery came. Excited, Laura threw James' legs off of herself and ran to the kitchen to get another beer for him. She never answered the door when James was around, she always made him do it no particular reason either, she just hated speaking to the delivery person, she felt it was always awkward. Especially on the days where she ordered food during a storm, felt like a dick doing that but it never stopped her from doing it. James went to the door, and as usual paid for their food. Laura left the kitchen to see James putting his wallet on top of the box and bringing it to the living room.

"I fucking hate when you do that you know."

"Do what?" He asked, raising his left eyebrow and setting everything down on the table. She put his beer bottle down in place of the empty one. "You always pay whenever we get food. Stop doing that! I have money you know James. I may not make as much as you guys but I do have money to pay for food."

"Laura I'm not saying you don't have money, but that's just how I am. I pay for women, I'm sorry I'm such a gentleman."

"…..Let me pay for it next time alright?"

"If that makes you feel better." He sang , throwing the pizza box open.

"You still won't let me pay, will you?"

"Not a chance." He chuckled folding his pizza slice and bringing it to his lips. Laura smiled a bit, watching him eat. James stopped chewing and turned to her, again lifting his eyebrow. "What?"

"Nothing, nothing, just admiring that gay hairstyle of yours."

"Oh you are such a little bitch sometimes."

"Oh I know Diamond Boy, I know." She turned to him, winked and took a slice of pizza for herself. The two of them ate pizza, watched television and continued to engorge themselves on food for most of the night until James kissed her forehead and said goodnight. Laura smiled a bit, she always had a fun time when it came to hanging out with James. She never wanted that to change. Secretly, she was happy her dates didn't go too well, because James was always there to cheer her up or make the night better.


	2. Too Late

The following morning Laura rolled out of bed and went straight to the bathroom. After washing her face and brushing her teeth, she slipped on her sneakers and grabbed the purple dog leash hanging on the door knob.

"GIZMO!"

As soon as she called his name, her clumsy young Rottweiler came barreling through the hallway until he found her and jumped up throwing his paws up. Laura laughed bending down and hugging her dog, scratching his ears and putting the leash on him. They left the condo and began casually walking down the street together. Laura absolutely loved her dog, she swears they understand each other and he's just like her. As they were walking Laura looked ahead and saw her co-worker Max running towards them. He wore a headband, arm bands, and knee high socks that matched his black shorts and white tank.

Well, that wasn't exactly an attractive look for him.

"Laura! Hey!"

"Hi Max."

They stood there awkwardly looking at each other. Gizmo watched his owner, sensing the tension and moved himself in between her and Max, sitting by her feet. Laura leaned forward, scratching behind his head until Max finally spoke.

"Well, don't you have anything to say to me?"

"Excuse me?" Laura stood up, narrowing her eyes. "Don't you think you want to explain to me why you didn't have the decency to call me last night? Let me wait at the restaurant for you for an hour without so much as one word?"

"Hey I was willing to explain that, you owe me an apology for your friend answering your phone and acting like a dick."

"What are you...?" Laura stopped and thought for a moment, when she entered the kitchen last night James _was_ sliding her phone onto the counter before putting his finger under his chin. "James…" She muttered under her breath, shaking her head and staring at the ground.

"Yeah, so you owe me an apology-"

"Woah. No I don't we're not doing that bullshit right now. Fact of the matter is, you never said a word to me and I'm sure whatever James said was probably worth saying because he doesn't say anything unless it's needed to be said. So what's your excuse for not showing up huh? Didn't have enough gas in the car? Lost my phone number?" She crossed her arms over her chest. Max scratched his head looking uncomfortable, his plan wasn't going to work. He forgot Laura tended to be feisty and not let anything slide by her easily. He just didn't feel like going last night, and was hoping by turning the tables on her she would feel bad and want to go out today and do something different.

"I…well uh."

"So? Spit it out."

"I just didn't want to! But what if we go out tonight! Tonight is a better night!"

_I just didn't want to._

Laura sighed, of course he didn't want to. Why would someone _want_ to go on a date with her?

"No way, you lost that opportunity. Let's go Gizmo." She didn't even have to tug on the leash to make Gizmo stand up. He got up and walked past Max with Laura. The two walked a good mile together until she decided they went far enough, and walked back to the condo. Once they entered she let him off the leash and he ran back to his bed in the living room. Laura walked to the bathroom and took a shower, replaying what he said over and over again as she scrubbed her hair. Now why didn't he want to? Just because Fridays didn't work out with him?! What an excuse to use, she sighed stepping out of the shower. She didn't need anyone who would come up with bullshit excuses. Hopefully by the time she's forty she'll meet someone that will want to date her….

Hopefully…

James Diamond stood in the shower letting the hot water roll down his body as he thought about the previous night. First it was the pick-up. When Laura got into the car he could smell the alcohol on her breath that she used to make herself feel better. He remembered how beautiful she looked that night. A long sleeve black lace dress, with a black slip underneath. The hem of the dress rested at the perfect length against her thighs, toned from the hours of rollerblading she used to do. Her perfectly pouty lips were so tempting in that bright, sexy shade of red lipstick he just wanted to lean over and kiss her. Tell her that no guy was worth her time except for himself…

But James couldn't bring himself to do that. He was quite sure she wouldn't feel the same way about him. The last thing he wanted to do was lose her as a friend all together.

After his shower, he stepped out, drying his hair with a towel before wrapping it around the rest of his body. What could she not like about him? He was _James Diamond_ after all. He had everything, looks, charm, a personality she got along with just fine. So what was missing that couldn't make her his? James pulled on his clothes, a pair of jeans, a white v-neck and sneakers before jogging downstairs to the living room where Carlos sat watching TV with his feet propped up on the coffee table. James jumped on the couch, putting his feet up as well. "Sup Los?"

"Oh nothing, so where did you disappear to last night?" Carlos chuckled turning to face his best friend.

"Your cousin's date stood her up so I took her home and we hung out."

Carlos shook his head. He was painfully aware of the poor dating record that Laura had. If they didn't stand her up, then they were too creepy for her liking, or they seemed too controlling and intimidated of her job. Which she was not going to put up with, nor him. Carlos swore that since she was in LA he had to take care of her, but it seemed like James was doing a fine job as well.

"So _all_ you did was hang out?"

"You know we're only friends Carlos." James focused his attention to the television set. Carlos shook his head, "But that's not what you want is it?" James stared at him, not finding the words that he wanted to say.

"I see the way you look at her James. Every time she calls or texts you, you run to her. Hell, last week you saw a Batman coin purse and bought it for her."

"Well that's because I saw it and it reminded me of her because I know she loves Batman…."

"Logan loves Batman." James had no response to that, he just shook his head and went back to the television screen. "James if you like her why don't you _say_ something or ask her out on a date? Honestly with all the stories I've been hearing on the guy's she's been dating you'd somehow be the best one on that list." James glanced at Carlos who was smiling.

"Gee thanks Carlos not sure if that's a compliment or what."

"It's a compliment….so say something dude really. Don't wait too long." James slowly nodded, thinking it through his head. Would it really just be that easy? Going up to Laura and saying to go out on a date? He wasn't sure, but he had to try his luck soon. Several hours had went by, and he hadn't heard from Laura so he decided to give her a quick call.

"Hey James!" There was a happiness in her voice, and he wasn't quite sure why. Sure she was usually happy but this seemed to be the result of something great happy, and not just her usual good mood.

"Hey beautiful, what's going on?" Good way to start James, compliment her and let her know she's beautiful, because other guys hadn't done that for her. You won't be like other guys.

"I'm at the supermarket and this hunky guy totally asked me out on a date….so I said yes." Well wouldn't you know, James was already too late.

"You're going out on a date? With who? What's his name? You probably don't even know his name you just met this guy at the supermarket Laura! He could be a sociopath!"

"Well the point of a date is to get to know someone so—"

"I don't know if you should go on this date." James sat up as Carlos muted the television so he could listen in on the conversation.

"Ew James what's with that attitude? You never told me who I could or could not date before so I don't think you should start now. I don't know what's gotten into you. But I'm going on this date whether you like it or not, it's not like _you're_ my boyfriend."

"Laura wait—" The call ended before James could try to stop her, try to explain that she shouldn't go on a date with this man because he so desperately wanted to take her out and treat her like a princess. He sighed running a hand through his dark locks. Carlos put a hand on his back ,"Don't worry buddy, this date's going to bomb just like they usually do, then you'll work the Diamond charm on her…."

"Thanks Carlos."

"Sure, but she is my cousin, so don't hurt her, because I will definitely hurt you" He patted him on the back and walked away to the kitchen to get something to eat. James sighed, great if things didn't work out according to plan he would lose a great girl and at the same time have his best friend beat him. He snorted at the thought, that would be something. Carlos wasn't weak, he was definitely strong but James had that certain advantage called height on him, which would definitely make it quite a bit harder to try and beat him.


	3. The Pier

Laura leaned down in front of her bathroom mirror applying her eye make-up while thinking about her date. Was it the right choice for her? To go on a date with this guy tonight? There's a chance James could be right and he is a sociopath, but it's not like she had anything to lose exactly either. It just bothered her that James seemed so fired up about it. He was usually pretty okay with her going on dates; he said to call him if anything went wrong. He usually cracked a joke to get rid of her nerves, but tonight after that little spat there was nothing.

Well it's not like she had any other options. She couldn't exactly go crawl to James and say 'James Diamond I need you in my life as my boyfriend for the love of god date me!', no, that just wasn't going to happen. Laura stepped back and studied herself in the mirror. A black high low skirt with white flats, and a white halter blouse. _Should I even go on this date if I don't even feel right? I don't even know why it doesn't feel right!_ She sighed at the thoughts running through her head and grabbed her phone. When all else fails, call a girl. So she called one of her friends, Marley, who happened to be Carlos' girlfriend.

"Hey Laura, Carlos told me you have a date tonight!"

"…..I didn't even tell him—oh…James…"

"Yup, so what's going on? You're nervous or something?" Marley would always cut to the chase, which sometimes is just what a girl needed.

"I don't want to go now, I got into a little spat with James this morning and now I just… I don't feel like going." Laura bit her lip turning away from the bathroom mirror and walking to her bedroom to sit down. She could hear Marley sigh on the other end.

"Alright, let's not beat around the bush here. Do you like James?"

"I uhh…I don't know—"

"No. Don't give me that I don't know bullshit it's either a yes or a no." Laura didn't know what to say. Part of her liked James, but another part screamed at her that they were only friends. That James Diamond was too good looking and successful to want to be anything more than that with her. Laura hung up the phone and waited until her date arrived promptly at 8 o'clock that evening. Laura opened the door and was greeted with a bouquet of white daisies.

_I fucking hate daisies with a burning passion_, she thought smiling as she took the flowers from him, "Wow, thank you Jacob these are beautiful!"

"I'm glad you like them. A pretty girl like you deserves pretty flowers." Laura nodded and invited him inside as she stepped to the kitchen to put them in water. When that was done the two of them left and walked to his car, a 2010 Chevy Impala. They both entered the car, Jacob not opening the door for her which she kept a mental note of, _James opened the door for me 90% of the time_, she thought as she buckled herself in.

"So Jacob, what do you do?" Laura questioned as he drove down the well-lit LA streets.

"I'm actually a personal trainer. What about you?" Laura took this time to glance at him and do another once-over. She could see why he was a personal trainer, his arms were buff, his chest muscles were well defined through his sweater. _Only an inch or so taller than me, maybe he's on steroids. A steroid ridden personal trainer, I'm not surprised._

"Ah, well I work for Let's Talk Magazine, I conduct interviews, mostly I write a lot of editorial pieces. I just started a blog for short stories I've written so…."

"Wow, smart girl. Lots of brains to go with those hot looks. Play any sports?"

"I used to rollerblade in my spare time."

"Oh, okay." He seemed disinterested and the conversation stopped there. Laura sighed, her thoughts killing her again as she figured this would just be another crappy date. Jacob parked at the Santa Monica pier, where it was beautifully well lit at night. The two of them left the car and for their date and proceeded to go on a few rides that were available. Then the pair walked down the pier to get to another section, admiring all of the street performers and artists. Jacob tried holding her hand a few times, but Laura just wasn't feeling it so she kept her hands close to herself to keep him from trying again. On their walk Jacob saw a cute tiki bar and walked over, telling her he'd get drinks for the two of them. Laura nodded and sat on the railing, watching him order and wait for him to come back.

When he started talking to a pretty blonde girl at the bar though she had a feeling he wasn't going to come back. After the blonde girl threw her head back laughing and squeezing his bicep, she knew that wasn't going to happen. Jacob started to walk back to her without the drinks and Laura pretended to look in another direction so he didn't know she saw him talking to her.

"Hey, I'm really sorry something just came up I have to go—"

"It's fine I get it." Laura nodded, faking a smile. She wasn't lying about that, she did get it. It wasn't a total loss for her, he didn't seem interested, and nothing they did kept Laura interested in him. Nothing to be completely depressed over, just another mark for her 'shitty dates' list.

"Great! Thanks for understanding I'll call you!" He leaned over and kissed her cheek before jogging off and catching up with the blonde girl. Laura rolled her eyes, pulling herself off of the railing she slowly walked down the boardwalk, arms crossed over her chest as she took out her phone and called someone she could rely on.

"Hey James…"

"Laura." He didn't seem too happy.

"Uhhh…"

"Let me guess. Another date down the toilet?"

"You guessed it."

"Well, I'm busy right now so I can't help you. I'll talk to you tomorrow." James hung up the phone. He looked at his buddies and their girlfriends, he regretted doing it, he would have loved some womanly company but he was still annoyed about the talk they had that afternoon. Now he was getting annoyed that he was only there to cheer her up after every failed date. Even though he relished the failures, it bothered him that she was always going out on a date with some new guy that wasn't good enough for her.

Laura sighed and put the phone away in her bag. Part of her knew that James wouldn't be so kind and forgiving very easily, but she wanted to be wrong and be able to see him again for another night of food and movies. She continued to walk along the boardwalk, wondering how'd she get home when she saw a familiar group in front of her. It was Kendall, with his girlfriend Tori on his back, Logan holding hands with his girl Kira, and Marley sandwiched in between Carlos and James. Marley did not tell James about the phone call with Laura, she figured to wait before she blabbed and spilled the beans on Laura's doubts. Carlos noticed his cousin and walked a little faster up to her.

_Oh well wouldn't you know, of course I have to run into him now of all times!_

"Hey Laura…. Where's your date?"

"Gone." She muttered into the hug Carlos gave her. She waved her hello to everyone else, James was quiet, looking down at his phone.

"Do you want to hang out with us?" Logan offered showing his classic heart melting grin. Laura smiled a bit, Logan was a sweet guy, and she could see why Kira fell hard for him every time he smiled. It would make even the most miserable person forget their troubles.

"No it's okay, I think I'm just going to go home, I have to work tomorrow."

"On a Sunday?" Kendall questioned, Laura nodded, "going in tomorrow to get some stuff done ….so I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow." That was a complete and total lie. No way was she going to work on her day off, she just didn't want them to try to pressure her into staying out with them that night. Tonight was a night to cuddle with Gizmo and watch Batman cartoons to make herself feel good.

"How are you getting home?" Carlos questioned, Laura shrugged, "Probably going to walk."

"I'll drive you home if you want." James quietly offered, shoving his phone into his back pocket. Laura looked at him and shook her head, "No, _you're busy_. I'll walk or catch a cab. Bye guys." Laura kissed Carlos' cheek and began to walk away.

"Laura I'll take you home!" Carlos shouted, he didn't like his cousin traveling alone at night, especially dressed in date attire on a Saturday night.

"Carlos I'm an adult, I got it! Stop nagging me!" She waved her hand left. The group watched until she was out of sight and continued their fun adventure. Marley decided now was a good time to start talking about her and spilling the beans. She explained how Laura called her and was doubting whether or not she should go on the date.

"So I asked if she liked James and she just hung up on me! Like what the hell!"

"Maybe she's in denial about her feelings!" Logan said, pulling Kira closer to him as they walked together.

"Or her phone got disconnected." Kendall added.

"Maybe she just doesn't like me." James snorted, hands shoved in his pockets. They all stared at him before rolling their eyes. "That's not an option."

"you guys—"

"Zip it!" Marley made the 'zip it' motion over her lips and shook her head." Mr. Diamond, that's not an option. I'm a woman, we can see that she likes you, she's just denying it. Tori, Kira? Am I right? Don't you see the love?"

"Definitely she wants his dick so bad—"

"THAT'S STILL MY COUSIN YOU GUYS!" Carlos shouted, turning to look at Tori who just laughed and buried her face into Kendall's neck.

"We can always try to get it out of her for you…" Kira offered. "We'll go to her house and badger her about it. Or get her drunk, whichever works more."

"It's fine." James shook his head, "Let's just not talk about it okay? Let's just enjoy this night."

Laura returned home and kicked her shoes off. Gizmo ran over, jumping over her until she finally gave in and rubbed his belly until he was satisfied. Laura changed into her pajamas and dropped onto the sofa where Gizmo came running over to join her. Together they watched her DVD's of Batman cartoons, keeping each other company. Laura checked her phone and found a text message from Marley.

**Club Friday nite, us girls, ur going.**

**Fine**

Laura sighed. It had been awhile since she went to a club and completely let herself go. Maybe it was something needed to get her out of the funk. Just one night to dance and get so fucked up she won't even remember what happened the night before. Sounds like a good plan for a young woman such as herself.


	4. The Club

**Friday Night**

James and Laura hadn't spoken much during the week. Laura was being too stubborn to give him a call or visit him to say sorry for being rude over the phone. On Wednesday, James finally caved in and called her, apologizing for acting like a dick on the phone. The two of them said their apologies and talked for a bit. He asked her to explain the date to him and why it was a failure. She sighed and told him that he just wasn't interesting; they didn't connect, so he left with some blonde girl he met at the bar. James sighed and told her the right guy was going to come along and sweep her off her feet sooner than she'd know. That made Laura nervous, would that someone be James? She dispelled the thought from her head and kept her mind focused on what was to be the girl's night out on Friday.

When it was time to go, Laura left her condo and ran downstairs to meet the girls. Tori was rocking a corset and shorts, Marley had a tank top with a see through back and black skirt, while Kira wore a one shoulder dress that was black and showed off her curves nicely. The girls whistled when they saw Laura step down in a short flared black skirt and blue one shoulder top. The four girls hopped into Kira's car and headed to the 'Blue Rays' club.

"Alright, first thing is first. Shots." Tori dragged Laura to the bar. They had a plan for that night. Kira wouldn't drink, as usual. But the other two girls would drink a bit just for Laura, and would focus on getting her shitfaced. They'd get their information from her when she was drunk, then get her shitfaced so she could have a good time. Then the boys would join them later on to make sure things were running smoothly, and to give James some time with Laura.

Tori, Laura, and Marley each downed a shot. They ordered two more shots for Laura who just stared at the both of them.

"What? You had a rough work week, you need to loosen up!" Laura sighed, "Alright! Fuck it! WOO!" Laura downed the two shots and shook her head. The girls then went to the dance floor, shaking their troubles away and dancing with each other. After a few songs, Marley dragged Laura back to the bar while Tori and Kira continued to dance with one another. Marley bought her Pink Panther, a drink that she knew would fuck her up quickly, so she had to work fast. Laura sipped her drink rapidly with a smile, spinning in the bar stool.

"So Laura, tell me about James!"

"He is so damn hot. Like. I'd pour caramel sauce on his body and lick it off. That's how hot." Marley grinned and laughed, she loved their plan. Laura was so outright blunt when she was drunk, you could ask her any question in the world and she'd be honest about it. One time they asked her about her preferences in bed, how kinky she was, you know, usual girl talk? Well, after that conversation they promised never to speak a word to Carlos. That was graphic.

"Wow really? Do you like him.. you know. Would you date him?"

"Oh god yeah. I love him. So damn hot and sweet and caring. I love when my dates fail sometimes. Because I know James is there to take me home and spend time with me." Laura giggled and sighed happily at the memories and sipped her drink. "It's like. That song, you're not alone! When I hear it I start belting it out like 'HE WAS A NO SHOW I MADE SURE YOU GOT HOME! Then I'm just like, that's so my Diamond Boy. I wonder if his dick is big." Laura shrugged and sipped her beverage. Marley was cursing herself in the head for not recording this conversation. She was enjoying it so much.

"Wow sweetie, you…really like him huh?"

"DUH!" Laura finished her drink and requested a second. "Shit." Marley mumbled, she was getting drunk quicker than she planned, so he texted Carlos that it was a good time for the guys to head over. Laura sipped her drink and finished it. She grabbed Marley's arms and started dragging her to the dance floor.

"We're gonna fuck on this dance floor let's do it!" She laughed and bent Marley forward, grinding on her as though she was the guy and Marley was the girl she desperately wanted to take home. Tori smirked and took out her phone filming the scene before her while Kira was laughing hysterically. Marley laughed too and stood up shaking her head.

"Sweetie you are so drunk…"

"I KNOW! Ain't it great!?" Laura stepped back from them and bent over, shaking her ass which earned her a couple of whistles.

"Let's try to make sure she goes home with James tonight and not someone else!" Kira yelled to Tori and Marley.

"Maybe I overdid the drinks…" Marley said watching Laura dance.

"WELL SHIT YA THINK!?" Tori shouted. The girls shook their heads and continued to dance. The boys managed to make it to the club. Carlos snuck up behind Marley and grabbed onto her, dancing with her. She gasped and pushed away to see who was behind her. She rolled her eyes when she saw Carlos laugh and went back to dancing with him. Kendall jumped in front of Tori surprising her, the two began to dance like silly fools on the dance floor. Logan walked up to Kira, putting his hand on the small of her back and kissing her cheek sweetly before guiding her off of the dance floor and to one of the tables to sit.

James was looking around for Laura, considering all the guys had found their girls and went separate ways. He weaved through the sweaty bodies and pushed past the females who were dying trying to grab his attention. He stopped and stared at a girl sandwiched in between two men who were holding her by her hips and her ass, closely grinding on her. _No way is that her…_ he thought, but continued to stare at her just to make sure he wasn't mistaken. His eyes widened when the girl lifted the hair from her neck, shaking out her hair and turning to the side, allowing him the perfect angle to see her face. James took long strides towards her. "Mind if I cut in?" He leaned forward, and when Laura looked up she grinned, pushing the guys off of her and going to James. He grabbed her by her arm and led her outside into the cold air.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He questioned. She stared up at him with blank eyes and simply hiccupped and giggled in response.

"DUH! I WAS DANCING! Shaking it. Griiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinding like I'm Shakira. I can do that because I'm Spanish. See?" She turned around and glued her ass to James' crotch grinding against him. James blinked and swallowed hard, turning her around and holding her by her shoulders.

"How much did you drink Laura? You don't usually …. Grind with two strange guys at once."

"I drank a ton." She giggled stroking James' arms. Alarms went off in James' head. The last time Laura got completely shitfaced she started climbing out of the car window while it was moving to get onto the roof and car surf. _Oh fuck this chick is going to be out of her mind. I gotta take her home._

"Alright Laura, I'm going to take you home okay?"

"To do what?" She smirked biting her lip and looking up at him.

_Well fuck why does she have to be so god damn suggestive and wanting to fuck me when she's drunk?—Oh wait, because she's drunk._

"So you can rest you're out of your mind right now…"

"Just dance with me James! One song. ONE SOOONGG JAMES fuck me on the dance floor!" Before James could protest Laura was dragging him back inside the club. As worried as he was for her being this intoxicated, it was pretty damn amusing. She had to be the most ridiculous out of her mind drunk they've ever met. When they were on the dance floor he made sure Carlos wasn't in sight to see him grinding with his cousin. Laura wrapped his arms around her waist and began to dance with him closely grinding with him. James held on to her waist dancing with her, well, her Shakira comment wasn't a lie at least. They danced that way for more than one song, James found himself getting excited. He regretfully pulled her away and scooped her up throwing her over his shoulder.

"Time to go!" He said as they walked out, he glanced over his shoulder and couldn't help but notice that her short skirt really couldn't cover much when she was resting on his shoulder. The completely intoxicated girl wore bright lime green panties, which now the whole world could see. James chuckled and carried her to his car, he assumed the guys would be able to catch a ride with the girls.

"Woah James your ass is so banging." She reached her hands down and squeezed his rear-end making him jump. Laura giggled and James couldn't help but chuckle as he laid her down in the back seat. He walked around to the front and got in the car, driving to her condo.

"Alright sweetie, where are the keys?"

"In my bag silly!" Laura giggled holding up her small purse. James reached for the bag but she shook her head and jumped out of the car, running towards the steps. James sighed putting the car in park and running to catch up with her. Laura fell on the concrete, scraping her knee on the ground.

"Oh no…boo boo…." She pointed to her knee after she sat up and closely followed the trail of blood seeping down. James shook his head, took the keys from her purse and picked her up bridal style, carrying her up the flight of steps to her condo. He opened the door, and walked her to the bathroom all while trying not to step over Gizmo who was bouncing around trying to pounce on him. When he set her down on the sink Laura clapped and yelled Gizmo, who stared at his owner like she was an idiot, and put his attention back on James.

"Hey buddy, I'll pet you in a minute I have to take care of your mom okay?" He spoke to the dog, scratching behind its ears as though it understood him. Gizmo licked his hand and ran away. James shrugged and opened the cabinet below the sink, pulling out peroxide, cotton, and a band aid.

"Ohhhh ,sexy Doctor James going to take care of me?" She grinned sticking her leg out.

"Damn Laura you are beyond drunk…"

"I'M LOVE DRUNK BABY!"

"Whatever you say…" James cleaned her cut and put a band aid over it. Laura bit her lip watching him then hiccupped.

"Let's put you to bed, okay sweetie?"

"Are you going to join me?"

"No Laura…" She pouted, jumping off of the counter.

"Am I ugly?"

"What? No-"

"Then why don't you like meeeee?" She whined. Before James could answer she shoved him lightly and stomped to her room. Well, she slipped after a few steps, but James was right behind her and caught her helping her up. He guided her to her room and helped her take off her shoes. He pulled out an oversized t shirt and sweatpants for her. Laura stripped down in front of James, who couldn't help but take a peak. It's not like she'd remember him watching anyway. She climbed into bed, James pulled the covers over her and started to walk out the room.

"Wait!" He turned around, "lay with me?"

"Sure Laura…" James kicked his shoes off, and peeled off his button up before lying on the bed with her. She turned over and curled into his chest. James draped an arm around her.

"I love you James." She mumbled before falling asleep.

_Alright James. Laura just said I love you to YOU and then fell asleep. Know what this means right? She won't be remembering anything in the morning. Well wouldn't you know, I get into Laura's bed and it's because she's drunk and we didn't even do anything._


	5. The Plan

When Laura woke up the following morning she felt awful and disgusting. Her head was pounding, her mouth felt dry and when she opened her eyes it felt like she was staring into the sun. She whimpered forcing herself to sit up in bed and try to remember what happened the night before. Laura held her head in her hands, slowly swinging her feet over the side of the bed to plant them on the floor. There was a smell emitting from the kitchen that she couldn't quite place, but she felt sick and didn't want to know what it was. Hearing footsteps, she quickly grew alarmed wondering who the fuck could be in her house. She stood up unsuccessfully and felt dizzy. James held her arms and steadied her back onto the bed.

"Good morning party animal." He smirked.

"James?"

"That's what they call me sweetie. Here, cola and Excedrin. Take it, it'll help your head and settle your stomach." He held them out to her, she opened her eyes slightly and took both, swallowing the pill and chasing it down with the soda.

"Thanks…ugh what happened last night?"

"Don't remember anything at all?"

"Not a single thing." She muttered, throwing herself back on the bed. "I guess they called you to pick me up?"

"Something like that. They invited us to the club after a while. When I got there you were shitfaced and grinding in between two guys."

"Ugh really?! That's disgusting I can't believe I did that!"

"Oh, well you did." James took a moment to laugh about the situation, "then you told me you had hips like Shakira and grinded on me too."

"Oh my god…" Laura's face turned red and she hung her head, burying it in her hands. "Oh that's not all. Tori sent me a nice video." James got the video up on his phone and put it in front of Laura's face. She looked up and watched in horror as she bent Marley over and started grinding on her.

"Oh my god I'm such a mess when I'm drunk! Get it away from me. I can't believe I did that!"

"You were just having fun—"

"I started acting like a disgusting slut! UGH never again!" Laura hid her face in shame. James leaned over and rubbed her back, deciding not to tell her what happened when they got to her place and she said I love you or questioned why he didn't want her. After all, she was drunk, and the I love you could have been meant in a brotherly sort of way.

"Don't worry about it, I saved you from doing any damage. " James walked away and left the bedroom. Laura trudged her way to the bathroom to wash her face of last night's make up and memories. When she walked back to the bedroom James was sitting there with a tray on the bed. On the tray was a large pile of eggs and other treats.

"A cure to a hangover is a good omelette, so eat up princess." Laura stared at the omelette, it had peppers, cheese, onions, bacon, potatoes on the side and toast. She couldn't help but smile at the fact that he was taking care of her. "Thanks for taking care of me James."

"Anything for you." He kissed her forehead and went to the kitchen to clean up while she enjoyed her lovely breakfast in bed. When she was done she carried It over to the kitchen where he took it from her and proceeded to do the dishes. Laura leaned on his arm, watching him clean the plates.

"James?"

"Yeah?"

"Did I umm…did I say anything stupid last night?"

"Stupid like how?"

"I don't know, just…stupid."

"No…aside from the Shakira thing you were pretty okay." Laura nodded slowly and continued to watch him clean. "James?"

"Yeah?"

"I like when you come over." Laura wrapper her arms around his bicep as he rinsed the dishes and turned off the faucet. He dried his hands with the kitchen towel and turned around to face her, leaning on the kitchen sink.

"I like when I cover over too Laura, I love spending time with you." He kept his hands on her arms softly rubbing them with this thumb. Laura bit her lip about to speak but James' phone rang.

_James! I love you! I'm so glad you took me home I love you and I want us to date and be together forever… Oh fuck Laura that sounds creepy thank god the phone rang.._

"Yeah I took her home just fine… uh huh she's up… oh no she's well aware of the video." James laughed and Laura sighed dramatically. "Uh huh….yeah I'll be there, yeah see ya." James hung up and pulled her to him by her arms, kissing her sweetly on the corner of her mouth which was a not surprise for both of them.

"I forgot we're supposed to be filming today. I' have to go now but I'll call you later okay?"

"Sure James um….have a good day."

"Thanks Laura." He winked and grabbed the jacket he wore last night before leaving her house. Laura sat on the counter swinging her legs wondering what the hell was she to do with herself. Laura walked over to her purse she found on the floor and took out the phone, texting Marley.

**Okay I mite be in love with James**

She waited for her response, which didn't take long at all.

**FINALLY u admit it! Get ready im coming over.**

"Nooo I don't want to get dressed…." Laura whined. She stopped to fill Gizmo's food bowl and give him a kiss on the snout before dragging herself to the bathroom. After showering and getting dressed in another pair of sweatpants and t shirt. As soon as she finished blow drying her hair the doorbell rang. Laura ran over and pulled the door open to see Marley standing there wearing a gorgeous blue summer dress and black wedge sandals.

"Ummm you look nice.." Laura said letting her in.

"Thank you! You however, that outfit is not acceptable."

"Well I don't even know what we're doing!"

"We're going to take you to visit the boys on set so you can woo James! Now let's go. " Marley grabbed Laura by her elbow and dragged her to her bedroom. She threw the door open to her closet and started going through the clothes.

"…we want him to see that you're pretty and ready to dress up for him but we don't want to make you go there all dolled up and freak him out. OR think the sole purpose is to fuck him, even if it is…" She weaved through the hangers looking for something. Laura grinned and pulled out a light pink strapless dress that had the heart neck line. Laura shook her head" Hell fucking no."

"Then why do you have it!?"

"Carlos' mom gave it to me in an attempt to be more girly like a year ago."

"Still doesn't explain why you have it…"

"She's my aunt I can't just…throw it out that's rude!"

"Well I guess you'll just have to wear it. Here." Marley threw the dress at her. She looked through the closet more and found a white blazer. After finding the white wedge heels buried in her closet, she forced Laura into the bathroom to get dressed.

Laura mumbled to herself the entire time getting ready. "Make me wear…. A pink dress. Pft. I'm Laura Ramone I do not wear pink dresses that's so not my style… Pink dress. Hmph. Bullshit. This outfit won't look good anyway.. Who wears pink and white…oh my god this looks cute." Laura muttered in defeat studying herself.

"I TOLD YOU NOW GET BACK OUT HERE!" Laura pouted leaving the bathroom. Marley dragged her again onto a chair and sat on her lap facing her.

"Dude what the fu—"

"Shut up I'm doing you're make up." Marley applied mascara to Laura's eyes. She lightly applied white eye shadow and outlined her upper eyelid with black liquid liner. Marley pushed her head back and painted Laura's lips with pink lip gloss. She got off of Laura's lap and walked behind her, scooping her raven hair into a high ponytail.

"But I always wear my hair loose…"

"I know. This will be different, plus it highlights your features more. Now, put these on and we're good to go." She handed her silver hoop earrings and a dainty silver heart necklace. Laura stood up and did a little turn to which Marley clapped and took a picture. "Very nice! James won't know what hit him."

"Can we even visit him on set…?"

"Yeah when Carlos films I do it all the time. We'll bring the boys food. I'll give the rest of their guys their food and you just worry on going to James. Got it?"

"Alright…sure that sounds um.. like a great plan."

"aww how cute you're nervous!"

"Well, yeah I'm nervous I mean… I'm going to… tell James I like him I guess."

"You better fucking tell him or I'll kick your ass back to New York." Marley smiled sweetly, but Laura could see behind that smile there was a death threat that she would promise to keep. The two of them jumped into Marley's car and drove to a sushi restaurant, picking up bento boxes for the boys. They continued their drive, Laura's head running frantic with thoughts as she was wondering what she'd say and do the closer they got to the set. When they arrived and picked up their passes, they walked to the set to see James and Logan doing back flips trying to show off. Carlos and Kendall were sitting together going over their script.

"Lunch!" Marley yelled holding up the large bag of food. All the boys lifted their heads and looked to Marley with smiles on their faces. They all got up running over to her. Laura stepped out from behind Marley which made all the boys stop in their tracks.

"Woah! Look at you!" Kendall said, "Looking good Laura!"

"Thanks Kendall." Laura smiled. Carlos glanced at Marley with his head tilted, she just smirked and nodded. Carlos shook his head and kissed her cheek, grabbing the bag of food from him. Laura turned to James who stood a little further back from the rest of them, just staring at Laura.

"Hey.." He nodded looking her up and down.

"Hey."


	6. I Got Some!

_Holy crap talk about bombshell. I thought she looked beautiful the night I picked her up from that no-show date but look at her now. She looks so beautiful! That pink dress on her tan skin, along with the crisp white blazer. Wow. I never get to see her hair slicked up in a ponytail either, it was always loose or in a messy bun, but this looks great. It perfectly shows off her long neck and high cheekbones. Wow…_

"Earth to James. She's talking to you." Logan slapped James on the back, shaking him out of his inner thoughts. James looked down at Laura who stepped closer to him, holding a tray on her hands.

"Oh uh, sorry Laura what's up?"

"I brought you lunch… bento box."

"Ohhhh, thanks beautiful, want to come eat some lunch with me?"_ Good strategy James, single her out and take her away from the rest of the guys so you could talk to her. Finally say something James for god's sake she's in front of you looking beautiful and with food, what more could a guy want?_

His thoughts were haunting him as he walked with Laura to his dressing room. They stepped in and he closed the door behind her, he heard her snort before she sat down.

"Oh what now Ms. Critic?"

"There's like…no life in here. Just clothes and your stuff….put some decorations James!"

"Actually, Carlos and I are having a challenge. I'm going to have a cleaner, more awesome dressing room than him."

"Good luck, Carlos is OCD with cleaning." Laura moved on the sofa so James could sit beside her. He opened the bento box up and smiled at the amount of food there.

"Gee thanks for your support, want some?" He held out the second pair of chopsticks to Laura who nodded and pulled them out of the sleeve. He didn't take the first bite, he had to watch her to see if she would finally be able to use the chop sticks. The sticks grasped a piece of shumai, and she looked hopeful until it slipped from her chopsticks "Damn it!"

"Still can't use them huh?"

"You know it's not me, it's the chopsticks. They're out to get me." She grabbed the food again, but once more it slipped from her grasp. Laura literally emitted a growl of annoyance before throwing the chopsticks down. James shook his head and grabbed the piece in his chopsticks like a professional. "Open," Laura looked between him and the food, opening her mouth. He placed the food in front of her, she leaned forward and ate the shumai.

"See? Wasn't so hard was it?"

"Well no, not with you feeding me." Laura chuckled. _Wow, never thought the day James Diamond told me to open my mouth it would be for something so innocent like food…_ She thought watching him pick up a piece of a California roll for himself.

"So what brought you to visit? I mean not that I don't like getting food from a beautiful girl, but uh, you never stop by the set of the show…"

"Oh well um you know, you took care of me so I…you know wanted to show you that I appreciate it by. ..giving you food!"

"Uh huh…" James stared at her smirking, not buying it. "Okay well you always come over and cheer me up after all my bad dates and you… are there for me so this is like my little thing for you."

James nodded as she spoke listening to her, he thought back to the phone call he had received from Marley when he was in Laura's apartment. He was sleeping and the phone woke up him up, so he snuck out to listen to the call while he made breakfast.

**Flashybacky**

"_So, apparently according to the painfully truthful drunk Laura, she wants to fuck you and wonders if your dick is big. Oh she said she loves you, like legit loves you, and that you're sweet and caring. That she secretly loves when her dates fail because you always pick her up and hang out with her." Marley started cracking up at that point, "She started singing 'You're Not Alone' and belted out 'he was a no show I made sure you got home'. I mean shit James that was the funniest thing. But basically she's in love with you. OH MY FAVORITE PART! She said she'd pour caramel sauce on your body and lick it off."_

_James was highly amused with what she was saying, but it also made him feel good. He knew that he absolutely had a chance with Laura and he had to make his move. "Thanks for getting her drunk and telling me this Marley.."_

"_Oh no problem, we'll see you later" Marley hung up and James leaned on the counter thinking about what he was told. He smiled and nodded to himself, "Fuck yeah she loves me I'm James Diamond I'm awesome." He chuckled to himself before making her breakfast._

**End of Flashybacky**

"Well you know Laura, he was a no show I made sure you got home and felt better and forgot the douchebag." James smirked to himself taking another bite of his meal. Laura tilted her head '_oh my gosh that's like when I always sing to that song in my head! Woah crazy coincidence.' _She thought. "Well wouldn't you know, James Diamond quoted a Big Time Rush song."

"Hey can you blame me? We have one for like every possible situation." He laughed and grabbed a piece of his tonkatsu, lifting it up to her mouth. Laura took a bite and nodded chewing the food, "That's true, smart guys you are."

"Yeah…" He nodded and kept eating. "So, you look great you know."

"well thank you—"

"You'll look just as beautiful I'm sure when I take you out for dinner." He looked at her, that wonderful smile told her that classic, flirty James Diamond was back, but it wasn't for some random girl. The old James Diamond seemed to come back and want to do what he should have done a long time ago. Take her out on a date.

"Like…. A friend dinner or…"

"A date. You and me. Wednesday night Laura."

_OH MY FUCK TESTICLES JAMES ASKED ME OUT ON A DATE. OH MY GOD. HE ASKED ME OUT ON A DATE. EVERYONE CAN SUCK MY TOE BECAUSE JAMES ASKED ME OUT ON A DATE. HOLY FUCK! ALRIGHT! Regain your thoughts before you answer Laura don't just shout yes at him you'll seem like a dumb little desperate bitch._

"Yeah James that sounds great." Laura grinned and bit her lip.

"Good, after a date with me you won't want to date anyone else." Laura blinked and nodded, this was the confident James she had met once before. She was loving this confident dating side of him. James looked her over again and couldn't help himself. He leaned over and kissed Laura which definitely surprised her. He felt her smile against his lips which only made him smile wide. Laura put her hand in his hair to caress the dark locks while James turned his body towards her and held her by her waist pulling her closer. James nibbled on her bottom lip until her lips parted and allowed his tongue to enter and discover what he's been aching to have for months. Laura moaned and let her other hand grab and feel his biceps.

A knock at the door made the two jump apart. James yelled for the person to enter, regretfully, while Laura quickly wiped around her mouth to clean up the stray lip gloss.

"Hey dude break is over we have to film…." Kendall lifted an eyebrow looking between the two of them. His eyes settled on James and smirked, "might want to clean that pink gloss off of yourself before we go." He winked and left. James swallowed and looked at Laura who broke down laughing. "You look like such a pretty boy now!"

"Geez thanks, let's not forget this pretty boy made you moan."

"Pft. Sympathy moan." She tried to lie but James knew it was definitely him that made her moan. He handed her a napkin so she could wipe the lip gloss off of him. When that was done he kissed her cheek again before getting up to leave.

"I'll call you later!" He said before rushing out of the room. Laura smiled to herself, pumped her first in the air and walked out of the room. She yelped when she felt her body get pressed into the wall. Thankfully, it was only Marley who was grinning from ear to ear.

"YOU SLY DOG YOU GOT SOME ACTION KENDALL TOLD ME JAMES HAD LIPGLOSS ALL UP ON HIS FACE GOOD JOB!"

"Wow Marley, scream it louder they didn't hear you in China."

"Yes they did…awww yay!"

"I know.." Laura gushed, she was so happy and smiling. The two girls linked arms as they walked off of the set, "He said he's going to take me out on a date Wednesday night. Then he just kissed me and things got hot so quick…"

"Well you two have some serious repressed sexual tension for months. I'm surprised you didn't mount him then and there." Marley spoke and turned her head when Laura didn't answer. Her eyes widened, "Did you!?"

"No! No I didn't but I kind of wanted to…"

"Wow. Horny bitch."

"Hey you know I'm crazy. I remember you guys got me drunk to ask what kind of shit I was into. And I'm glad I traumatized you."

"OHhh you remember that…"

"How could I forget." Laura tilted her head and Marley shrugged with a laugh before getting in the car. "Well just don't rape him you know."

"Please, it won't be rape. It'll just be hot intense passionate sex maybe with handcuffs—"

"Laura!"

"What? It's gonna go there. I'll make sure it does."

"You freak me out…"

"I know." Laura smirked. Marley pretended to shudder in fear while she drove away from the set. Laura leaned back and sighed happily. First of all, she had James Diamond's tongue in her mouth. _Suck my dick all of you teenage girls trying to have his children, because I got some Diamond! FUCK YEAH!_ She thought with a smile on her face. Not only that, she now had a date with the lovely man in the middle of the week. Sure, she has work the next day and she'll probably feel like shit and want to die in the morning from being tired but Laura is hoping it'll be worth it. The two hung out together for the rest of the day until Marley said she was going to go and see Carlos at the house.

"I'm going to go fuck your cousin right now." Marley smirked leaving Laura's place.

"Oh my god I can't believe you said that! THAT'S MY COUSIN DUDE!"

"Oh I know, I said that for what you said earlier today. You dirty thing. See ya!" Marley laughed and left. Laura shuddered just like Marley had done before and closed the door behind her. She glanced at the clock, it was about eleven at night on a Saturday and she had nothing to do. "Well Gizmo, cuddle time!" Her dog ran from his spot on his dog bed and jumped on the couch. Laura put on her pajama shorts and tank top before sitting down with her dog to watch television. Half an hour later there was a knock at her door. "Please don't be a murderer..." She mumbled walking to the door. After looking through the peephole she smiled a bit and pulled the door open. James stepped in holding a pint of ice cream and a bag of chips. "Hey!"

"Hey beautiful. Figured you wouldn't be doing anything so I thought I'd stop by."

"You thought right, come on Gizmo and I are watching Doctor Who."

"Dork." He laughed and kissed her again. Because you know what? He could do that. He could kiss her all the time now, they weren't even dating but he kissed her once, that left him many more chances to kiss her.

"Oh yeah fuck you too pretty boy." Laura rolled her eyes and followed him inside. Once he sat down Gizmo got up and moved till his head was on his lap. She went to the kitchen and came back with two bottles of water and two spoons to enjoy their ice cream and chips. She snuggled up next to him, holding the carton of ice cream on her lap while James put one arm around her shoulders and used the other to dig into the ice cream. He looked down at Laura who was scooping a giant spoon into her mouth.

"What?" Her eyes were wide with curiosity.

"Nothing, just admiring your gay hairstyle."

"Wow what a dick." James laughed and kissed her on the forehead. Laura smiled and got as close as she could to him. This was just like the end to every date she had in Los Angeles, except this time it didn't follow a shitty date beforehand.


	7. Such A Tease

"LAURA RAMONE PUT THIS FUCKING DRESS ON GOD DAMN IT I WILL FUCKING SLAP THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!"

"YOU CAN'T MAKE ME SUCK MY COCK! CARLOS YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS CHASING ME!"

"I don't care…." Carlos sat in Laura's apartment with his feet up on the coffee table, watching TV as his girlfriend tried to get Laura ready for her date. Carlos very much wanted to put his head through the TV after witnessing his cousin running away from his girlfriend in a lacey black underwear and bra set. It made him wish the world would end. Him and Marley were just supposed to catch a movie and go out to the boardwalk and go on some rides. But _no_ Laura just **had** to be hopeless when it came to picking an outfit for a date with James. Marley brought over a black leather dress from her closet, which Carlos happened to love on her. Laura was throwing a hissy-fit over it.

"WHY THE FUCK NOT?! YOU WANTED MY HELP!"

"YOU PROBABLY FUCKED MY COUSIN IN THAT DRESS I DON'T WANT TO WEAR IT TONIGHT!" Marley stopped running, and bent over laughing. "Actually...I did."

"UGH!" Laura stalked back to her room slamming the door. Carlos threw his head back yelling to the ceiling.

"Okay sorry baby I won't chase her around anymore I'll dress her and we'll go on our date."

"Thank you." Carlos kissed her cheek and went back to watching the television while Marley walked into Laura's room. She stalked into the closet going through each and every article of clothing closely. She found a square cut black dress that clung to her curves, a slit running up from her knee to her thigh, with a thick white belt at the waist. Marley literally threw it at Laura, grabbed a pair of black pumps and threw those at her as well.

"Son of a bitch the heel hit my arm!"

"Well James can kiss it better! Hurry the fuck up he's going to pick you up in 20 minutes!" Laura grumbled at Marley and pulled the dress on. She slipped on the heels and let her hair fall down from the bun she had tied it into so it could be wavy.

"Great, you look beautiful! Was that so hard?"

"Well—"

"Don't answer, just put on the lipstick and you're good to go. Love ya, have fun on your date." Marley kissed her cheek quick and ran to Carlos dragging him off the sofa. Carlos yelled good luck to his cousin before they were finally able to leave. Laura looked in the mirror and took in three deep breaths. This was the night she was waiting for, the date with the wonderful and ever so charming James Diamond.

"Holy fuck. Holy fuck. My breath." Laura ran over to the kitchen, grabbing a pack of breath mints and chewing five of them. Her dog Gizmo looked up at her, head tilted to the side. "Oh don't judge me momma is nervous." The dog shook its head and walked away. Laura rolled her eyes and sat on the sofa patiently waiting. Well, not very patiently, she watched the clock. As soon the clock struck seven there was a knock at the door. _Punctual, wow, sexy._

Laura took in a deep breath and walked to the door, holding her clutch tightly in her left hand. She opened the door and her jaw dropped. There stood James looking ever so dashing in a black suit and tie, a crisp white dress shirt underneath. He smiled at her, that perfectly straight white smile. He held in his hand a bouquet of violets.

"Wow…" She swallowed and licked her lips. "You… look great… James." She nodded. He chuckled and walked in handing her the flowers," Violets, my favorite..."

"I know." He winked, "You look beautiful Laura."

"Thank you..." She nodded." Um I'll just put these in a vase and we'll get going."

"Sure." James leaned against the wall watching her move. The dress was a tease, it clung to her curves and that slit gave him a closer view of those killer legs. When she walked back over he grabbed her firmly by the waist and pulled her close planting a quick peck on her lips. "Let's go." He grinned, all she could do was nod speechless and follow him.

_Oh my god it's been only five minutes and James Diamond has me wrapped around his finger with violets and a killer suit. I'm fucking hopeless._

James led her to his car and opened the door for her like a gentleman. He got into the car and began to drive to their first destination.

"So, what's the agenda for the date?"

"You'll see beautiful don't rush."

_Heh, imagine James is a psycho killer all along and he dumps my body somewhere that no one will ever find… OH MY GOD LAURA WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING THIS STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW! Shit I'm hopeless._

James stopped the car in front of a very classy looking Italian restaurant, her favorite type of food to indulge in. The valet opened the door for Laura and stuck his hand out for her. She grasped it and stepped out the car, meeting James on her side. He gave the valet his keys and linked arms with her as they walked to the Maître' D. After giving his name they were escorted to a lovely candle lit table. James pulled out her chair for her before sitting down himself. Laura looked around fascinated.

"Enjoying the view?" James smiled after ordering a bottle of wine for the both of them.

"This place… is very swanky Mr. Diamond. You're going all out tonight aren't you?"

"Only for you Laura." Again, that killer smile that made her knees buckle. She just nodded like an idiot. She felt as though she was blushing and quickly lifted the menu to hide her face. She was nervous! Laura was never nervous on a first date. It was all a routine, every first date was a cliché. Go to dinner, take a stroll, walk home, see if you get a kiss at the end of the night and that's it! She wasn't sure if it was that she was waiting for this moment for so long, or that James just made her that nervous with his notoriety of being the ever perfect man to go on a date with. Either way she wasn't on her A-game tonight. She felt clumsy and speechless and just an overall mess

Curse the Diamond family for being so god damn good looking and suave.

While they waited for their food to arrive James leaned in close to her on the table. It made her nervous. This new side to him, the James on a date side she never experienced before, very intimidating.

"I make you nervous now don't I?" He chuckled, hands folded on the table.

"Was it that obvious?"

"Oh extremely… why are you so nervous Laura? You know me!"

"Yeah I know kick around protective James… not 'I am so suave and a master at sweeping you off your feet ' James." She saw him smirk.

"Oh, so I've already swept you off your feet?"

"Oh hush…"

"Well wouldn't you know, I make you nervous and have swept you off your feet…"

Laura blushed and the two of them ate their dinner while sipping wine. James asked about the magazine and how her work was. She happily explained it was going very well for her. That there might be an opportunity for her to go to New Zealand to interview the cast involved with a new movie project 'Heaven Can't Wait.' Then she went on to say how the movie sounded god awful and the project sounded like a complete bullshit flop that would just end miserably and make less in box office sales than Nacho Libre. James listened carefully and told her that was a great opportunity, that she shouldn't be afraid to take it because chances like that come very rarely in life. She simply shrugged in response, again noting that it was only a slight chance that would happen. After dinner James paid the bill, tipped the valet and the two were off once again.

"Let me guess… we had dinner, so … a movie?"

"Oh that is so cliché…" James laughed driving.

"So what? You'll one up it and rent out the entire theater?"

"Nope."

"Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaames." Laura whined, desperate to know what was next.

"Be patient baby you'll love it." He winked at her and turned his eyes back to the rode. Laura swallowed and nodded, staring out the window.

_Something is fucking wrong with me if I get turned on by a wink and him calling me baby. Shit. I've been alone far too long._

"So how do you feel about dancing Laura?"

"Uhhhh…. It's dangerous for me when I'm drunk." He laughed and nodded.

"Very true, thankfully we're not doing, well, not quite." He parked the car in a lot and stepped out. Laura stayed inside, the building looked unfamiliar to her and the lot was completely empty.

_Oh my fuck this is where he kills me! JAMES DIAMOND IS A MURDERER OH MY GOD!_

"Coming?" The open door and James' outstretched hand distracted her from her nervous thoughts. She took his hand and left the car walking inside with him.

"You seem tense…"

"Are you going to murder me James?"

He threw his head back and laughed, opening the door for her. "Not at all, quite the opposite beautiful." Once they stepped in her eyes widened. They were in a roller rink, bright neon lights and a completely 80's feel. He guided her to the front desk where a single old man stood with a smile on his face. She quietly said her skate size looking around. James grabbed the skates and socks, walking over to a soft bench with her.

"You….rented out a roller rink…."

"Yeah, I got nervous when you said rented out a movie theater, but I figured you wouldn't guess this." He took off his shoes and put the skates on after taking off his blazer and rolling up his sleeves. James loosened his tie and undid the top button, when Laura glanced at him he still looked hot as hell. She worked on putting the skates on and looked back up at the counter, noticing there were rollerblades behind the counter.

"Hey, I can't use skates can I go get the—"

"Nope, takes away all the fun." James stood up and held his hand out to her.

"But James I can't use skates!"

"I know, that's why you're using them." He laughed dragging her to the floor.

"What a jerk." She shook her head. "Don't worry I'll hold on to you." He whispered in her ear.

_Must…get…new…underwear…_

The old man behind the counter dimmed the lights and pressed a button which allowed a disco ball to appear through the ceiling, then left the two alone. The both of them laughed. It seemed like a cheesy 80s movie but it was also incredibly cute and sweet. As promised, James held on to her until she felt that she got the hang of it. He let go of her and they decided to race, first one around three times would win. James had no problem speeding off, while Laura struggled to maintain her balance at first. However she managed to catch up but James had already won.

"Hmph. Cheater."

"Don't be a sore loser princess." He laughed skating circles around her. She rolled her eyes and stuck her hand out to push him but leaned too far forward and started falling. Flailing arms grabbed onto James and pulled him down with her. She fell first hitting the ground with a thud sprawled out on her stomach. James fell on top of her but caught himself with his forearms. He hovered only inches away from her. She rolled over onto her back and looked up at him with a guilty face.

"Sorry..."She chuckled. James shook his head and tipped his head down to kiss her. Laura lifted her hands letting one rest on his shoulder and another stroking his hair. He tilted his head and licked her lips, biting them anxiously. Her lips only parted slightly, and James already shoved his tongue in her mouth to engage in a battle of dominance. James suddenly pulled away and stood up, causing Laura to frown and sigh in frustration. He smirked and licked his lips, Laura caught this and glared.

"You fucking tease…"

"Got you excited, didn't I?" He smirked and skated back to the counter, leaving the skates.

"…..No…." She mumbled quietly, leaving her skates at the counter as well.

_No? Pft. Bullshit I need new underwear. And a cold shower. Desperately. Extra cold._

The two walked together in silence back to the car. Laura approached the passenger side, but rather than opening the door for her James pushed her against the car and attacked her with his mouth. When she gasped he shoved his tongue into her mouth and kept her pressed against the car with his body. Laura's hands curled around his biceps squeezing and feeling his muscles before letting her hands roam up and down his arms and shoulders. James wrapped an arm around her waist pulling her even closer. He bit down on her lip before trailing kisses along her jaw line , moving her wavy hair away and kissing down her neck until he found the perfect spot.

"Oh James…" she moaned, head tilted back enjoying every flick of his tongue on her neck. James pulled away, smirking and got into the driver's side. Confused as hell Laura looked around before getting into the car, speechless. "Uhhhh…" She turned to James who had a devilishly grin on his face. She glared and threw her purse on the floor of the car.

"JAMES DIAMOND YOU TEASED ME AGAIN!?"

"Yeah baby I want you wanting me." James winked at her and Laura pouted crossing her arms over her chest.

"Douchebag…"

"Don't worry, you'll get what you want later."

"Really?"

"Nope."

James Diamond, class A tease.


	8. This Is My Game

On Friday afternoon Laura sat curled up on her couch with Gizmo while talking on the phone to Marley to explain how her date went. That was quite possibly the most graphic conversation the two have ever had, even topping the drunk conversations at clubs when they just love to ask her private questions. The poor victim in this situation was Carlos, who had to listen to this all while driving back home with his girlfriend.

"So did you guys have sex?" Marley asked, smirking at Carlos who looked like he wanted to drive the car into a tree.

"No! He was such a tease. I mean seriously Marley, I needed new underwear by the time I got home. He pushed me against the car and we made out and it was hot…then he just climbed in and took me home. He did the _same_ damn thing when he walked me to the door and he left! UGHH I took the coldest shower afterwards you have no idea."

"Wow. You are so beyond sexually frustrated right now." Marley threw her head back laughing. "Maybe you should invest in a dildo."

"MARLEY COME ON SERIOUSLY!" Laura could hear Carlos shouting at the other end of the line. Both girls were laughing hysterically.

"Okay I'm sorry baby. But anyways Laura, have you spoken to him?"

"Yeah, they were filming like 15 hours yesterday, and I need to take Gizmo to his appointment so he's going to come over and wait for the packages, I can't miss them again I already missed the delivery twice."

"What the hell did you buy?"

"Uhhhh, I might have ordered a Doctor Who sonic screwdriver, a light saber, the One Tree Hill Series DVD collection, and a bunch of different boxes of cookies."

"….Where the fuck do you order from that you get all of that in one package?"

"Amazon." Laura laughed and heard a knock at the door. "Alright James should be here, I'll talk to you later."

"Make sure you blow him!"

"MARLEY WHAT THE FUCK!" Carlos shouted again.

"Bye girly!" Marley hung up the phone, laughing hysterically. Carlos parked the car in the drive way and glared at her. "What?"

"Oh, you think it's funny to talk about that in front of me and laugh that she's getting teased? Let's see how you like it."

"Wait what do you mean by that!?" Marley leapt out the car, following Carlos inside.

"I'm going to have to tease you, maybe you'll stop talking about that stuff in front of me."

"No baby!" Marley followed Carlos around begging him not to tease her like James was doing to Laura. Carlos didn't show it, but he smirked realizing he now had definitely leverage over her.

Laura gently pushed Gizmo off of her and ran to the door to open it. James grinned leaning on the door frame, muscular arms crossed over his chest. "Hey gorgeous."

"Hey James, come on in. Perfect timing actually I really have to go now. So help yourself to whatever's in the fridge you know you're welcome to. I'll see you in a bit."

"Yeah no problem, is Gizmo okay?"

"He's fine it's just a checkup. See you later!" She tip-toed to plant a kiss on his cheek and snapped her fingers for Gizmo to come over. She bent down to put the leash on his neck and felt a hard slap on her bottom. Laura yelled and jumped up, rubbing her backside and turning to James with a pouty face. He simply smirked at her and walked to the television.

"Tease.."

"You know it." Laura rolled her eyes and walked out with Gizmo, slamming the door behind her. James chuckled to himself and looked around the apartment, what to do what to do…

As James sat on the couch flipping through the television channels he felt his cell phone vibrating in his pocket. He answered it, not taking his eyes off of the TV screen. "Hey Los."

"I hate you." Carlos said quietly into the phone.

"Woah, what did I do? I did not finish the cocoa puffs this time that was Logan."

"Not that idiot. Thanks to you being a tease and 'the perfect date' I had to listen to a conversation between Marley and Laura about the two of you that made me want to kill myself."

"Oh, they talked about me huh? What did they say?"

"That you're a tease and apparently Laura's in heat. I hate you. I'm traumatized dude." James smirked leaning back on the sofa, propping his feet up on the coffee table to relax.

"If you want Carlos I can teach you how to be like me."

"….No thanks. I'm good."

"So you called me just to say you hate me?" James chuckled. The line was quiet for a moment." Carlos?"

"I can't believe I'm saying this. Yeah I do want tips I want to do the same to Marley so she can talk about it to Laura and traumatize her."

"Smart move Carlos. So here's what you got to do." James went into a vivid description of everything he should do to Marley and how to be an over-all tease. Carlos had an evil grin on his face as he listened to these tips. He was definitely going to torture her and make her stop talking about Laura in front of him once and for all.

"Thanks buddy."

"No problem." James hung up the phone. Now he was bored. He went to the refrigerator and peered inside. He found a fruit salad bowl that clearly said do not touch. After ripping the lid off the bowl he grabbed a fork and walked over to the laptop. An evil smile formed on his face when he saw she hadn't logged out.

"Time to go through Laura's internet habits…" He muttered to himself ,viciously stabbing a grape to bring to his lips.

" …. facebook…facebook….facebook….facebook ten more times… aeropostale… food blogs… the fuck where is the juicy stuff?!" He went through her internet history for 20 minutes trying to find some incriminating evidence or something to embarrass her with but there was nothing. That was bullshit. If she was so sexually frustrated and in heat like he heard there had to be porn on that computer somewhere. Just when he gave up looking he noticed a second internet browser. The evil grin came back and he clicked on it. Quickly he opened the history tab and was excited with what he found.

"Ohhh… I got you now you dirty girl…" James muttered scrolling through the pages and pages of porn links.

When Laura got home she let Gizmo go and he ran straight to his bed as though he had been probed by aliens. She chuckled tossing her keys and bag on a side table.

"Hey James I'm back! Did my pack-nevermind.." She walked into the package. Too excited to bring it somewhere to sit and open it, she ripped it open with her bare hands and smiled at all her little goodies. Laura put the box on the side table with her keys and bag, only grabbing a box of cookies from the box. "Have fun waiting around for FedEx?" She laughed, popping a cookie into her mouth. There was no response, she frowned walking towards the living room. "James?" Laura heard moaning and whimpering coming from the living room. She twitched stomping over. _If this motherfucker is having sex in my place I'm going—oh my god._

"OH MY GOD JAMES NO!" She screamed when she saw the screen on her laptop. A video on the screen was a rather kinky video she had watched a few nights ago. She dropped the cookies and ran to the sofa, tackling James and closing the computer.

"Wow Laura, someone's a kinky bitch huh?" James was laughing, lying underneath her on the couch. Laura was blood red, and even though she closed the laptop the sounds from the video kept playing for another moment.

"Why the hell were you watching that?!"

"I wanted to see what kind of stuff you were into."

"Are you serious!?" Her voice cracked which made James all the more amused. Laura had no problem sharing her dirty secrets and thoughts with the other girls, but with James? That's a whole other story. That's like randomly walking up to Logan and reading a playboy magazine with him, just not something that's very comfortable to do!

"I heard how hot and bothered I had gotten you so I was curious…" He let his hand rest on her hip before sliding down her thigh. She swallowed hard staring at him.

"I'm not amused James."

"You're right. You're not. You're something else." James held a firm grip on her thighs, letting his hands roam up and down while his thumb trailed along her inner thighs, getting dangerously close to her center. Laura leaned forward and bit down on his lip, hard. "Getting rough aren't we Laura?"

"Shut up Diamond." Laura forced her lips onto his, gripping his hair in her hands. Their tongues wrestled for a while, his hands resting on her thighs, pulling them apart as their kissing grew more intense. Laura grinded against him pulling his face closer to hers to deepen the kiss. James grabbed her waist and shoved her off of him, pushing her onto the other side of the couch and climbing over her. His lips went back to attacking hers, hands roaming over her body. Laura wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling her closer to him as she bit and licked his lips. One of his hands cupped her breast while another trailed down to her center, tracing circles on it over her jeans.

"Jaaaaames." She wined tugging at the hem of his shirt. This only served to make him chuckle and continue his teasing. Laura growled and grabbed on to his biceps rolling off the sofa and landing on top of him on the floor.

"Feisty today aren't we?" He laughed holding her hips.

"Shut up." Laura forced her lips onto his and let her hands roam around his muscular arms and chest. She felt James buck his hips into her and she smirked , she had him right where she wanted him. As she was trialing kisses down his jaw line to his neck, there was a knock at the door.

"Oh better get that!" Laura grinned and got up running away before James could grab her back. As she was opening the door James sat up from the floor adjusting his jeans.

"CARLOS! MARLEY! HI!" Laura hugged the two of them while James groaned, standing up from the floor.

"Oh yeah definitely I'm ready to go. Hey James, I'm going with them to the pier, do you want to come with?" She smirked crossing her arms over her chest. While it seemed impromptu, Laura had planned to tease James so he could feel her frustrations. It was perfect timing on Marley's part, who agreed to pick her up with Carlos so they could all go out.

"….Yeah…sure.." James nodded scratching the back of his head. What the hell was that? Did he really just let Laura tease him and lead him on only to be stopped? This was not her game, this was his! He grabbed his stuff off of the coffee table and walked with them down the stairs. Carlos hung back and let the girls walk ahead of them.

"Apparently her plan is to tease you now." Carlos chuckled.

"Pft.. we'll see how that goes. This is my game, not hers."

"Good luck with that man, my cousin's stubborn." Carlos patted his back and laughed hopping into the seat. He let Marley jump in the front with her boyfriend while Laura climbed into the backseat beside James. He leaned back in his seat, letting his hand rest on her knee while they drove through the cool LA air. James watched Laura laugh and joke around with Marley, all the while he was planning in his mind.

_Okay, maybe I should skip this teasing game and just go for it. Not funny that she has me lingering here waiting for it. I'm getting some!_


	9. You Little Asshole

At the pier Laura jumped on her cousin's back. She was so excited to hang out with him because the two of them hadn't hung out for a while. Marley and James walked next to each other, watching in amusement as Carlos ran as fast as he could to a booth that had deep fried treats. He set her down and bought his cousin a deep fried cup cake, which she gladly indulged on as they waited for the other two to catch up.

"So what should we do first?" Marley asked wrapping her hands around Carlos' arm. Laura shrugged, at the moment she didn't care because she was happy with her deep fried cupcake and nothing in the world would be better than that at the moment.

"Well since this fat ass doesn't have an opinion, why don't we go on a ferris wheel?" James suggested. He felt Laura glaring at him so he looked down to see her flashing the middle finger to him, muttering a profanity while eating her sweet treat. All he could was drape an arm around her and laugh. Carlos shook his head.

"He has a point, you eat that stuff like it's peanut butter."

"You are not allowed to talk ill of peanut butter. That shit is amazing." Laura firmly stated, pointing her fork at Carlos.

"Okay, how about that wheel now huh?" Marley chuckled. They all nodded and walked to the ride. Laura tossed her empty carton into a trash bin before climbing into the cart.

"Hey Laura, still don't like Ferris wheels?"

"You shut the fuck up." Laura glared at Carlos. James raised his eyebrows putting an arm around her as he sat down.

"When we were in New York, there's this ferris wheel at Coney Island that she is terrified of."

"BECAUSE YOU FUCKING STARTED ROCKING THE CART BACK AND FORTH!"

"It's supposed to do that!"

"SWINGING IN A CART IN MID AIR ISN'T FUN CARLOS CONEY ISLAND IS FUCKING FALLING APART BY THE MINUTE!"

"You two have serious issues." Marley laughed, snuggling into Carlos as the ride began. Laura sighed leaning back into James' arm, staring outside the cart they were in. The ride stopped when they were at the top, Marley leaned over and kissed Carlos, stroking his thigh. Laura glanced over and her eyes widened.

"Oh my god Marley I'm right here!"

"…and?"

"You're like….raping his thigh and his mouth in front of me!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot we were in public, my bad." Marley laughed and laced her fingers with Carlos'. Laura rolled her eyes and continue marvel at the view in front of them. Carlos and Marley went back to kissing, so James took this as optimal timing to pull Laura into a sweet kiss, quite literally, he was able to taste the deep fried cupcake and found himself wanting to buy one once the ride was over. After the wheel, they went on a roller coaster, then the tilt-a-whirl. Afterwards they all went to play a few games. James decided to try and do the strong-man challenge.

"Hey Laura, how does that big teddy-bear look?" Laura looked over to see a dark brown teddy bear with a white scarf hanging from a hook along with a few other bears. The bear seemed to be her height, maybe even taller.

"That's an adorable bear James, why?"

"Because I'm going to win that." Laura took one look at him and the game, then laughed hysterically. "What's so funny?"

"Oh come on James, really? No one is able to hit the bell. Just because you're all tall and strong doesn't mean you'll be able to do it."

"Wow…so little faith Laura!" Carlos laughed, his fingers intertwined with Marley's as the two of them watched Laura and James interact with each other.

"Oh it's fine Carlos, I'll just have to show her how awesome I am." James stepped in to the small section and handed the guy money before picking up the mallet. He looked at Laura and winked.

"James you're so not getting it." She shook her head, leaning on the gate. James lifted the oversized mallet above his head and forced the hammer down onto the platform. The light shot up from the platform up to the bell at the top which began to ring. James turned around, smirking to Laura as he dropped the mallet to the ground, grabbing the giant teddy bear from the guy in charge of the game. He walked out of the little section for the game and stood in front of Laura, smirking down at her.

"Okay fine you did it good job…"She muttered, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Say James Diamond is so handsome and I'm sorry I ever doubted that hot beast."

"Are you serious—"

"Do it.."

Laura sighed dramatically, "James Diamond is so handsome, and I'm sorry I ever doubted that hot beast…"

"Good girl!" James handed her the bear, she chuckled and squeezed it tightly. "Aw isn't that precious?"

"It is." Carlos nodded in agreement, snapping a picture of it on his phone. Laura blushed a bit and walked with them, putting the bear behind her wrapping its arms around her shoulders as they walked. James chuckled and took it away from her, holding it with his right arm as his left hand held hers.

"It looks like it's going to swallow you whole." He commented as the four of them walked together.

"She'll swallow you whole—OWW!" Marley yelled as both Laura and Carlos pinched her arms. She pouted rubbing her arms, muttering curses under her breath. James threw his head back laughing.

"I'm not even gonna comment on that."

"Dude you better not." Carlos glared up at James. James winked at Carlos. "Don't worry Los, she'll never replace you in my heart."

"Thank god, so I guess you and I are going to go on a real date later?"

"You know it Papi."

"So my boyfriend is gay…" Marley nodded looking at Laura." Your cousin is gay and planning to go on the date with a guy you just started dating. How does that feel Laura?"

"Meh, sounds about right."

"You guys are sickos." Marley shook her head while the other three laughed. They continued to walk along the boardwalk until Laura said it was getting late and she should head home. They jumped into Carlos' jeep and he drove the girls home before him and James went back to their place.

"So, you and Laura…"

"Yeah?" James looked down at Carlos as they walked into the house.

"Are you going to take her out on another date or…?"

"I do plan on taking her out on more dates Carlos, I'm not gonna disappoint her."

"Good." Carlos nodded and patted him on the back. "Later buddy." He ran up to his room while James flopped on the couch to watch TV.

The following day Laura spent about four extra hours at work, furiously trying to write articles that would grab attention back to them from their slowly diminishing fan base. While her blog was getting better, the magazine company didn't seem to be sharing the same success, they had to get out more stories before they were forced to close. She reached for her large coffee mug, taking a sip of the now cold beverage before returning her hands to the keyboard. A knock at the door made her groan.

"Max I already said no to another date with you, I don't want to talk to you let it go." She went back to typing her article, not once moving her eyes from the computer screen. When the door opened she turned, wearing the meanest look on her face. Max was taken aback, surprised at how angry she looked in that moment.

"Can we at least talk?"

"No. What are you even still doing here?"

"I had to re-write those interviews you told me to do…." Laura stared at him, it completely slipped her mind, she forgot half the things she did that day she had done so much.

"Oh, well go home, and no we cannot talk. Bye-bye." Laura spun back to her desk, a sigh and the door closing made her relax knowing she was once again alone. A few minutes passed before another knock was heard. "Max seriously get a life." It was quiet, then another knock. Laura ignored it, then the door opened. Her eyes narrowed to tiny slits as she spun around to see who was at the door. She was surprised to see James standing there in his sweats and sunglasses, holding a large paper bag.

"I thought my name was James?" He chuckled walking over. James bent down in front of her, pecking her lips sweetly before pulling up one of the several chairs in the room to her desk beside her, placing the paper bag on the desk.

"James! Um what are you doing here?" Laura blinked several times, she realized she must have looked like a hot mess, her heels were kicked off somewhere near her desk, her hair in a messy bun, her blouse un-tucked, wrinkled, and a few buttons undone. She smoothed down her hair while James chuckled at her attempt to fix herself.

"Well while we were filming you texted Carlos to feed Gizmo this afternoon, and then about an hour ago to take him out, so while he went to take care of him once we finished filming I figured I'd drop by and take care of you." James flashed his signature smile while taking off his shades. He reached into the bag and pulled out two containers of food. Laura peered in, he had gotten the both of them bacon cheeseburgers and fries.

"Oh god bless you James you sweet adorable man you." Laura grabbed his face and pecked his lips before anxiously taking the container and ripping it open. She breathed in the smell of the greasy food and sighed happily. James shook his head laughing. "How long have you been here anyway?"

"Since eight this morning." She quickly said before taking a large bite of the burger. She moaned happily, chasing it with French fries while James pulled out two bottles of water from the bag.

"Jeez, did you at least eat all day?"

"I've been drinking coffee! Besides you work longer hours than I do some nights."

"That's true but I get a lot of breaks to relax, and goof off, you don't." Laura shrugged shoveling the burger into her mouth. James shook his head eating and relaxing in his chair. "So, Max huh?"

"Yeah, the one that you told him to back off on the phone that night you picked me up from that horrible date."

"Giving you a hard time?"

"Meh, he wanted to talk to me about it. I don't give a shit because I'm dating James Diamond who is an absolute sweetheart that brings me food." Laura grinned before eating a fry. James leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"Also much more handsome than him I believe."

"Wow, couldn't accept a compliment, just had to add on to it?"

"Yeah of course, I'm handsome."

"Hmph. Says you."

"Oh really? "James raised his eyebrows looking at her. Laura nodded, eating a few more French fries. "Oh that's funny, I know you think I'm good looking."

"Nah you're nothing special." Laura spun her chair around, her back facing him as she chuckled putting her food on the desk. James stared for a moment before standing up behind her chair. First his hands settled on her shoulders, before slowly sliding down her arms until they grabbed her hands. While holding her hands in his, James wrapped his arms around her from behind. "Nothing special huh? That's funny." He lowered his head to her ear where he nibbled on her earlobe. "Because I think you happen to find me, very sexy." James licked from her ear down to her collarbone where he bit down. Laura gasped and closed her eyes, leaning back in her seat. James let his tongue trail back towards her ear, before turning her head to plant a kiss on her lips. Satisfied with his work he pulled away and sat back down on his chair, eating his burger as though nothing happened.

When she no longer felt his touch she opened her eyes and spun around in the chair to face him. James sat there, smirking and enjoying his meal. Laura narrowed her eyes.

"You are such a fucking tease you little asshole."

"Oh I know baby but you love it."

"I do not…."

"Now I KNOW you cannot lie with that one."


	10. Going Away

"Okay Gizmo, now we're not going to repeat what happened last time understand that? Momma hasn't been able to skate with you on the leash because you think it's so god damn funny to run and drag me into things. You're a Rottweiler, not a cat, you're too damn strong. So we're going to go at a nice pace and not do anything stupid okay?" Laura said to her dog as she attached the leash to his collar. Of course the dog didn't respond, but if he could he probably would have told her to go fuck herself. Laura walked with Gizmo down the stairs and headed towards the pier carrying her skates in hand. Once they arrived she sat down and slid on her skates, putting the shoes in her backpack. Laura began to calmly skate along the boardwalk with Gizmo, who thankfully kept an equally calm pace. Only a few calm moments went by before Gizmo suddenly took off running for no reason.

"GIZMO! GIZMO STOP RIGHT NOW!" The dog dragged her along the boardwalk at a rather scary speed, heading towards the railing. Her eyes widened and she tried to stop on the skates but that only served to make her trip, she almost hit the ground. Gizmo stopped short, right at the railing tackling Kendall who was shirtless in his board shorts, surf board leaning on the railing. With few seconds to react all she could do was attempt to stop, and brace herself to hit the railing and possibly flip over. However James turned around from resting his surf board on the railing, he grabbed Laura by the waist quickly and pulled her flush against his chest.

"Well what a nice surprise." James chuckled turning her around. "Hey beautiful."

"James!" Laura sighed of relief, "holy crap am I glad to see you two." She looked between James and Kendall, who was bent down hugging her dog and scratching his head. "well maybe not. I had a stern talking to that Gizmo there and told him not to run, but he sees Kendall and runs anyway. What the fuck?"

"Dogs love me Laura I told you, I'm an animal whisperer." Kendall laughed. Laura shook her head and let her eyes wander over James. She assumed they had just gotten out of the water because he was still wet, and now she had become damp because of it. Laura bit down on her lip staring at his body before looking back up to his smirking face. "Actually I'm glad I bumped in to you. I need to tell you something."

"Uh….alright what's up?"

"I umm…remember how I told you that bullshit Heaven Can't Wait movie that's going to suck?"

"Yeah…"

"Well they started filming in New Zealand and I'm getting sent there for a month to write about the filming and do cast interviews." James smile fell.

"How soon do you leave?"

"Tomorrow night. I just found out this morning…"

"In one month we leave to go on our tour, four months." Laura's face fell.

"You'd be leaving when I'd get back…. Well this fucking sucks!"

"Hey it won't be too bad, four months fly by like that!" Kendall smiled a bit trying to ease her feelings. "You can always hang out with Tori, whenever I leave she keeps pretty busy."

"Yeah uh…I guess so…" Laura nodded, watching him play with the dog. Well Kendall would be in luck since Carlos offered to take care of the dog, Laura now assumed that when Carlos had to leave he would leave the dog with Marley. "How come Carlos didn't tell me when I called him to tell him I was leaving?"

"I uh..kind of wanted to tell you." James said. Laura nodded, she looked down at her skates.

"We should go out, before you leave—'

"I leave tomorrow, I really need to pack…"

"Then I'll help you, but I want to spend some time with you, I won't see you for a while." Laura nodded and leaned forward kissing him softly. "I'll go home now, I'll see you later then? "

"Yeah definitely, I'll see you later beautiful." James kissed her and watched as she took the leash from Kendall and began to skate home. Kendall stood up and grabbed his surfboard. The two of them walked towards James' car.

"A lot less time than you thought you were going to have with her huh?" Kendall said, tying the surfboard to the top of the car.

"Yeah I mean…. Shit she leaves tomorrow night."

"Hey it won't be too bad, we'll be back before you know it."

"It's not the same as you guys though Kendall. All of you have been dating your girlfriends for around two years. Laura and I just started, we went out on maybe two dates."

"But you've known her for so much longer James, that counts. She's had to deal with you on tour before, so it's gonna be just fine. Just don't try to think too much into it. It'll be fine, you just gotta call her every once in awhile, or every night however you ..feel like going about that. Video chat, and you're fine, alright buddy?" Kendall patted James' shoulder as James began driving his car home.

"Yeah I guess you have a good point.." James nodded.

Later in the day Laura sat at home packing her bags to go to New Zealand. Holy shit was she nervous. Her career basically depended on this interview. If the magazine didn't do better from the stories of the movie set and filming, they'd have to close. This is one of the last few shots they'll have and Laura gets to be the one to go. She packed one months' worth of clothes into her suitcase, then moved on to packing her carry on. The doorbell rang and Gizmo started barking. She groaned and pulled herself off the floor, walking to the door. When she pulled it open she furrowed her eyebrows.

"Max? The fuck are you doing here?!"

"I'm going with you to New Zealand I thought we should talk before—"

"YOU'RE FUCKING GOING WITH ME TO NEW ZEALAND!? WHY?!"

"To assist you." He smiled wide. Laura slammed the door in his face. The doorbell rang again but she ignored it, stomping off to her room to continue packing her carry- on.

"Come on Laura it won't be so bad! You and I will have fun together it'll be like a cool vacation!" Max was banging on the door trying to get her attention. He wasn't trying to be creepy and make a pass at her, he felt bad about their awful date situation and figured this one month being stuck together would be a good opportunity for them to fix things up between them. Since he was so busy banging on the door, he failed to notice James standing behind him. "Come on Laura New Zealand will be fun with me! I'm a fun guy!"

"She's going to New Zealand with you?" James raised an eyebrow staring down a Max. He jumped turning around to look up at James.

"Uhhh…..yeah she is. Who are you?"

"James, her boyfriend. You're Max right? The fucker that ruined the date?" Max swallowed and nodded, he was intimidated by James' height advantage as well as the muscles. "Right, well I'm going to tell you something Maxi-pad, that's my girl right in there, who if I know her well enough, probably does not want to be near you for an entire month so let's set it straight here. If she calls me and says you're harassing her, I will get on the next available flight and kick your ass. IS that understood?"

"Y-yeah ." James wanted to laugh at this kid using his last name, but he wanted to continue to appear intimidating.

"Good, so you two are going to work, and that's it. If you hang out fine, but no funny business or else, now go pack up you have a flight tomorrow." James nudged the guy down the stairs. Max jogged down the stairs quickly to avoid any further speaking with James. James banged on the door, waiting for Laura to answer.

"THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO SAY TO ME YOU ANNOYING LITTLE PRICK?!" She threw the door open. "James!"

"Oh now I'm an annoying little prick?" He laughed walking in. Laura snorted closing the door behind him. "Most of the time."

"Not very nice Laura-Bear." James tilted his head staring at her. She shrugged and walked back to her room. "Had a chat with Max outside, heard he's going with you to New Zealand."

"Oh god James I didn't even know he was going with me, I would have said no if I knew he was the one going.. ugh I can't believe it."

"I wouldn't have let you say no to that, because that's a great opportunity." James threw himself on her bed, shoes and all just to irritate her. Laura growled watching him and went back to packing. He leaned on his elbow watching her sit on the floor. "I told him I was your boyfriend and that I'd be over there real quick to take care of any problems. He called me Mr. Diamond before he ran away, I wanted to laugh so badly it was awesome."

Laura rose her eyebrows staring up at James. "Boyfriend huh?"

"Oh yeah, I'm your boyfriend , I didn't tell you that?" James grinned watching.

"You're such a little…fucker sometimes." Laura couldn't think of the word she wanted to use to insult him, so she settled on saying fucker, it worked well enough.

"Please, you adore me. You're a little bitch, and I'm a cocky protective sweetheart. We work well."

"That's a really screwed up definition of it but yeah that's… so true." Laura laughed packing her bag. "So what's up Diamond Boy?"

"Well I'm bothering you here before everyone else comes over to hang out to see you off to New Zealand. I wanted to talk to you about the tour."

"Alright, what about it?"

"Okay so uh, four month tour across United States."

"Right…" Laura leaned back on her elbows staring up at James. "You sound nervous." She smirked. James glared, oh no she was not going to make him seem like a nervous little boy right now.

"Oh baby I'm not nervous, I know I make you nervous every time I show up because you just look me over and bite your lip thinking I'm going to give you what you want and it'll be great but you don't know what to do. So you're nervous. Now back to the serious part." James looked down at her and laughed. Laura yelled and threw herself back on the floor, sticking her middle finger up at him.

"Such an asshole! Just continue!"

"So just going to put it out there I plan on calling you at least three times a week, and we'll video chat, and it'll be good."

"Really? Hmm, when you were on tour and we weren't dating you used to call me to say goodnight. Still going to do that?"

"If it so pleases you master." James snorted.

"WOW JAMES THAT'S IT!" Laura jumped to her feet and tackled James on the bed. She grabbed her pillow and started beating him senseless. James grabbed her and rolled off of the bed with her. A loud thud and a groan from Laura meant she was distracted from the momentary pain. He took the pillow from her and started to smack her with it.

"NO ASSHOLE!" Laura covered her face with one hand, and with the other reached over and pinched James' nipple, pulling back. James yelled pushing her away and grabbing his chest.

"The fuck Laura that hurt holy shit!"

"…..Well I said no asshole…" Laura mumbled quietly. James narrowed his eyes and straddled her. He leaned forward, his lips barely grazing hers. When her eyes were closed he began to tickle her sides. Her eyes shot open and she started laughing uncontrollably. "James no stop it please!" She begged, laughing and shaking violently.

"Nope not doing that girl."

"JAMES PLEASE!" She was shaking and her laughter turned into gasps for air. James shrugged and continued to tickle her. Her gasping turned into high pitched wheezing that sounded like a dolphin raping another dolphin. James heard this and started laughing hysterically. He stopped tickling her but he held her hands to stop her from trying to surprise him and tickle him back. It took her a few minutes but when she regained her breath she shook her head staring at him. "You sir, are a dick."

"You say I look like a fag with my hair style."

"You call me a fat ass."

"You called me a pretty-boy little bitch!"

"….Want to call it even?"

"Yeah let's say that." James stood up and pulled Laura to her feet. "I'm going to get you back though."

"Bring it on you pretty-boy little bitch." James eyes widened. Laura threw her head back laughing and took off running out of her room. James chased her down. As they were running the doorbell rang. When Laura reached for the door James wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her back. He placed his finger underneath her chin and lifted her head to look up at him. James leaned down and kissed her. Without letting go of her he opened the door allowing everyone to walk in.

"TELL YOUR COUSIN TO FUCK ME!" Marley shouted walking in, staring at Laura. Laura looked traumatized, everyone else was laughing, Kira closed the door behind her shaking her head.

"Apparently Carlos isn't giving her any action, he's teasing her like James is doing to you." Tori shrugged. "I told Kendall if he tries that on me I'll just leave him. Right?"

"Oh yeah, has to kill everything." Kendall shook his head and kissed Tori on the cheek, he walked in setting the bag of food on the counter while Tori put down another bag. James and Carlos glanced at each other, the two of them grinned and high-fived.

"I'm…. not telling my cousin to fuck you."

"PLEASE I NEED IT!" Marley begged.

"Not fun to hear about your cousin in a sexual way, is it Laura?" Carlos asked, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

"No it's not Carlos, it really isn't." Laura shook her head and twitched at the disturbing thought.

"What the fuck is wrong with you guys?" Logan laughed shaking his head and setting drinks on the table, James quickly turned around.

"Oh you wanna go there Logan? I saw you run up to your room with Kira with a firefighter costume. Wanna talk about that one Mr. Roleplay?" Logan turned bright red, while Kira blushed and smacked James in the back of the head.

"Yeah well at least I'm not the one with the Kama Sutra!" Logan shot a glance to Tori.

"OH FUCK YOU LOGAN! ! Well Marley likes to give blow jobs." Marley gasped.

"OH YEAH?! WELL LAURA IS INTO-"

"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE!" Laura yelled and tried to launch out of James' grasp to tackle Marley. James found out what she was into, via searching her laptop but he was so amused with it, and he needed his revenge, that he held her back and let Marley say it.

"LAURA'S INTO BONDAGE AND BEING DOMINATED SHE KEEPS A BOX OF TOYS AT THE BOTTOM OF HER CLOSET."

"I need a drink right now." Carlos quickly left all of them and ran to the refrigerator, grabbing a beer and chugging it down with his eyes closed. He might actually need therapy after learning that.

"Oh wow Laura, you and James are made for each other, he likes to dominate you should see some of the shit he watches." Logan added with a laugh. "Ha. Fuck you James."

"Oh yeah that'll be why James teases you, he likes control." Kendall glanced at James, drinking a beer as well. "Shouldn't have started James." Kendall shrugged. Laura stared at James blinking, James shrugged and nodded, answering her silent question. He turned to Kendall and Logan.

"Oh it's on now fuckers."

For most of the night the eight of them all commented on each other's sexual history and preferences while trying to eat Italian food the boys had picked up. Marley really ripped into Laura. The girls discussed what they get out of Laura one day when she was drunk at a club and they asked her about it. Carlos swore he was going to bash his head through the glass coffee table.

That's a hell of a way to spend the night before you leave for a month, huh?


	11. It Just Slipped

The following day Carlos and James escorted Laura to the airport. She pouted turning to face them, she didn't want to leave them for a month, much less with that annoying little bitch Max, but it had to be done. The boys hugged her, told her to be careful and to call them and keep them updated. Carlos turned away while James kissed her goodbye. Before she walked away she pinched his cheek super hard and ran away laughing. Of course Laura needed to have the last laugh.

**Fifth Day**

James had just finished a scene with Carlos on the set of Big Time Rush when he heard his phone ringing. The familiar sound of the Doctor Who theme filled the hallway as the two of them walked side by side. Immediately James grinned and pulled out his phone.

"My cousin's ringtone is the Doctor Who theme?"

"Shut up she likes it! Hey Laura!"

"James!" Laura grinned at hearing his voice, five days and she was already missing him. "I miss you! And everyone else of course. How is my doggy?"

"Your dog is fine he's here causing trouble on set. We miss you too beautiful. How is it over there, how's Max?"

"Oh well you know how it's right now summer in lovely America? IT'S FUCKING WINTER HERE JAMES I AM SLOWLY DYING OF FROZEN TIT-SYNDROME! Ugh man. Actually Max isn't too bad here you know, that outrageously long flight over here gave him the chance to talk my ear off so… He's fine, we talked it out, I don't hate him."

"Good to know you two are getting along and I don't have to fly over there." James chuckled a bit, walking into his dressing room. "How is the interviewing?"

"The lead actor is a fucking tool." Laura whispered into the phone. " I mean ,if I told him he had a slug crawling out of his belly button he would believe me and run around screaming. I mean what the hell James. Then the actress has no god damn personality. Like I want to take the script and just make all of them kill themselves. It's so bad."

"….This is going to be a bust for you isn't it?"

"Well we really don't give a shit as to whether or not the movie is a success, we're just hoping that covering the film will bring attention to the magazine… But I've already started searching for a new job." Laura sighed, she didn't want to leave the magazine company, she loved it. With the possibility of the company failing though, she can't just sit on her ass and do nothing, so it was time to start looking to be safe.

"Not that I want you to lose your job and worry about finding a new one, but I'm sure that if the time comes you'll find something you'll love even more."

"Thanks James… how is it over there?"

"Well Marley told me to tell you Carlos finally fucked her senseless over the kitchen table." James laughed lying on the sofa of his dressing room. The line was quiet and he frowned thinking he made her hang up. "Laura?"

"I really just might have to shoot my head after hearing that James that's so fucked up."

"I'm just the messenger baby. I have to go film a scene so I'll talk to you later….what time is it over there by the way it's five p.m here."

"Eleven A.M."

"Oh that's not so bad—"

"I'm a day ahead though remember that."

"Oh yeah…. Well…. I miss you Laura."

"I miss you too James. Goodbye."

**25 Days**

It was three in the morning when James' phone began to ring. He groaned lifting his hand to his night stand and grabbing the phone, he pressed the green button and let it rest on his ear. "helul.."

"The fuck kind of hello is that?" He could hear Laura laughing at his lack of English language skills on the other line. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Good morning…"

"Hi James. I know it's like three in the morning there I'm so sorry for waking you up."

"What's the matter Laura?"

"I'm so cold I wanted to talk to you there was a big snow storm and I'm snowed in my room because our hotel is weird it's like very nice and it's just one level kind of like a motel almost just um one level I told you it's a really nice place but um my door and um windows are covered in snow and I'm freaking the fuck out." Laura sat on her bed wrapped in all of the blankets she could find in the room. Laura never usually was the type to worry about things at such a level where she would be freaking out but this was new.

"Why are you freaking out princess? It's just snow you'll be okay." James' soothing voice was helping her to calm down a little bit, but she was still very anxious.

"Well because it's covering my entire door and windows! What if the windows burst and the snow comes in and I drown in snow! I'm all alone in my room no one would know if I froze to death!"

"….Laura neither one of those things are going to happen don't be ridiculous."

"Okay but what if it turns into that movie Alive and we all have to eat each other because there's no food leftover and they decided to eat me because I look yummy." James furrowed his eyebrows listening to her speak. She sounded like a fucking moron.

"Did you wake up and drink because you were freaking out about the snow?"

"Absolutely." Laura nodded to herself as though James could see her nodding her head in response. "I drank the entire minibar James."

"Congratulations Laura you are drunk as hell." He couldn't help but laugh.

"THANK YOU! I'm still scared though."

"I'll keep you distracted." James rubbed his eyes and went back to lying down, staring at the ceiling as he held the phone to his ear." So… what are you wearing?" Don't judge him now, when she's drunk she'll answer anything honestly, he might as well have fun with it since she woke him up at three in the morning.

"No undies! BUT I have really warm sweatpants and a giant sweatshirt with a tank top underneath. No bra though, I'm free-boobin' it."

"Free-boobin' it?" James laughed hysterically.

"Yeah free-boobin' it James, new slang I learned from the little kid of the movie! She's like….ten but she says she's free-boobin' it cause she doesn't wear bras. WE'RE FREE-BOOBIN' IT!"

"God, I love you Laura." James laughed hysterically, letting those three words slip from his tongue

"Ohhhh I love you too Diamond boy. "

**Home**

Laura sighed dragging her bag after retrieving it from baggage claim. Today was the day she finally arrived at LAX and she couldn't' have been happier to be there. New Zealand, if explained in her own words was 'a fucking snowy nightmare of hangovers and god awful filming'. Probably not going to assume that she had the best time of her life, but it was definitely a new experience that she can say she had. Marley was going to pick her up at the airport that day, apparently the boys left the day before hand, Laura couldn't believe she missed seeing them off. It really sucked for her, because she wanted to see them off, but she'll have an interesting four month wait ahead of her huh?

As she was walking trying to find the exit she had to go through she saw an array of cameras following a group of security guards pushing people away. Curious she decided to follow them. Why not right? It could be her favorite actress there! Or…uhhh…. Some random celebrity she probably hates but could follow anyway just because she can! As she walked forward she noticed James wearing one of his favorite baseball caps. Her eyes widened, she called out to him but with all the teenage girls doing the same thing, her voice didn't exactly stand out. Laura jumped up looking and could see Marley standing there. Laura whipped out her phone, following the group and calling.

"Hey Laura! You excited to come back tomorrow?"

"I'M HERE RIGHT NOW BEHIND YOU GUYS I MUST HAVE FUCKED UP THE HOURS GET SECURITY TO LET ME IN THAT BUBBLE OF LOVE AND BIG TIME RUSH!" Laura shouted into the phone getting as close as she could without getting shoved away by their security. She probably should have acquainted herself with their security when Carlos offered to, but she was too lazy to do so, oh well.

Marley turned around grabbing the security's shirt to pull him down because at his 6'4 stature, her 5'6 frame was not going to get her voice heard. He turned around and saw Laura waving frantically, quickly he pulled her in to the circle, the camera flashes went off even more. Laura sighed of relief and hugged Marley quiet, the guys were more in front and hadn't even noticed the new addition to their posse.

Laura grabbed James by the bicep. He quickly turned around and looked down and his eyes lit up. The circle stopped moving and Laura dropped her bag, grinning looking up at James. He lifted her up into a tight hug not letting go for what seemed like ages. He put her down then held her face kissing her. Camera flashes went off frantically but James didn't care, because Laura was there.

"What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be back until tomorrow!" James couldn't seem to let go of her and neither could Laura. She kept her hands curled around his biceps and her grin just continued to grow.

"Stupid me didn't account for the time difference! I get to see you off after all." Laura smiled wide and hugged him again. The boys needed to go for their flight, so she walked with them, holding James' hand and dragging her bag in her other hand with her carry-on on her back. Laura leaned over and kissed Carlos on the cheek, then Logan and Kendall. Tori and Kira kissed Laura on the cheek, happy to have their girl back to complete the eight, because seven people just didn't seem quite right. When they left the gate and started walking along the strip her grip on James' hand tightened. She _just_ got back to him, she didn't want to let him go so soon.

Everyone said their goodbyes in front of the plane. Laura said goodbye to the three boys, leaving James for last. She smiled looking up at him. "Have a good time okay? You have to tuck me in every night on the phone, remember that okay?" Laura laughed at her corny-ness and laced her fingers with his. "Just have fun, and kick ass."

"Don't worry, I'll have fun. I've got Carlos there to keep me company so we'll definitely be spooning backstage. Love you." James leaned forward and kissed her passionately before pulling away.

"Love you too, pretty-boy little bitch." James shook his head and playfully shoved her, before kissing her one last time and running into the plane. When the stairs pulled up and the door was closed James sat down and Carlos kneeled on the seat in front of James, staring down at him.

"You just said I love you to my cousin."

"I said love you, two words not three. But basically yeah."

"WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN!?"

"She called me about five days ago, drunk, afraid because she was completely snowed in at the hotel. I was messing with her and it just slipped. If I didn't mean it Carlos I wouldn't keep saying it." James calmly stared at Carlos. "Haven't been dating long, but we've known each other for quite a while. I don't regret it."

Carlos nodded staring at James. "Okay fine that's… that's great for you two then. But… don't wreck her heart alright?"

"I'm not Carlos you know that."

"I know James, just another warning…."

"SINCE WHEN DID YOU TWO SAY I LOVE YOU!?" Marley screamed as the four girls were leaving the airport. Laura laughed, shaking her head at the memory. "I drunk called James because I was afraid when I got snowed in at my hotel. He said I love you and I said it back but I didn't remember, he told me about it the next day though… so, you know, I do love him so ….we say it."

"Aww that is so cute." Kira cooed. "When Logan said I love you to me it was after he took me dancing. It was on a roof, under the stars, really romantic."

"That's lovely, Kendall was playing guitar for me and at the end he sang 'I love You'" Tori added.

"Carlos and I were going bungee jumping together for the first time, and he said it right before we jumped." Laura stared at all the girls who had dreamy tales of saying I love you.

"Well what the fuck guys you make the way James said it to me seem so un-special."

"Well it's not orthodox but it's still nice!" Tori added. Laura rolled her eyes shaking her head. "Pft. Fuck you guys. Take me home Marley I want to see my baby Gizmo."

"Right away your majesty." Marley chuckled getting into her small buggy.


	12. Blacklisted

**(very dialogue heavy today, I was feeling super silly **)

**First Week James is Gone**

"YOU KNOW GIZMO!?" Laura shouted searching for her dog in the condo. Her dog was currently hiding from her. Laura stalked around holding her chewed up heel. "Momma buys you SO many toys to chew until your heart's content. Not sure WHY you need my pumps!" Laura kept stalking around until she saw his tail hanging out from beneath her bed. She dropped to the floor and stuck her head under, staring at her dog as he whimpered. "Just for that, no treats for a week, that includes carrots." The dog howled as Laura got up from the floor. "Hey I explained the rules to you Gizmo, no treats for a week because you ate momma's shoes." She shook her head and climbed into bed. It was around eleven o'clock at night and she was already exhausted. Right when her head hit the pillow and she felt like she could sleep for days, her phone began to ring, a lovely Mighty Morphin Power Rangers theme for James' ring tone.

Don't ask why, no one knows why.

"Hi James." Laura grinned.

"Hey Laura, didn't wake you up did I?"

"Not at all handsome I was just about to go to bed."

"Oh well wouldn't you know, I have perfect timing." He chuckled and Laura rolled her eyes. "How are you Laura-bear?"

"I'm okay, Gizmo ate my pumps so he's on punishment for a week, no treats."

"Wow, I hope I don't get punished next time I eat your pumps."

"…..You're an idiot." The two of them laughed and when they were done she sighed, twisting her bed sheet in between her fingers. "I miss you and it's only been a week, how ridiculous is that?"

"Oh look at that, Laura the Bitch has feelings. It's not ridiculous baby, I miss you too."

"We got a long time to go…."

"Yeah we do, but it'll be okay. Now, shall I tuck you in?"

"Yes please." Laura put the phone on speaker next to her head on the pillow, when she did she could hear Carlos in the background

"_Dude are you singing WorldWide to her EVERY night?"_

"_Yeah Los I'm a romantic, so much better than you." James replied._

"_Come on Carlos ease up on James, he didn't get to have sex before he left like we all did." Logan commented._

"You know I hear you guys?" Laura said which quickly made James stop speaking.

"I'll sing now huh?"

"Yes please."

"Wait, a minute, before you tell me anything how was your day—"

"It was alright I guess.."

"LAURA!" James shouted and she couldn't help but laugh and giggle. On the other side of the country James was shaking his head, watching Carlos and Logan do back flips off of the sofa. He continued to sing to her until he heard her snoring softly. "Night Laura, I love you." She didn't hear him, but he felt that he still had to say it. He hung up the phone and was immediately smacked in the face by a pillow.

"The fuck!?"

"I love you Laura muah muah muah." Carlos cooed grabbing the pillow and smacking James again. James stood up, towering over Carlos.

"Would you rather me say 'Oh hey Laura, I miss you baby I can't wait to fuck you senseless." Carlos cringed hearing him say that about his cousin.

"Nope, carry on saying I love you.."

"That's what I thought."

**Two Months Into Tour**

Laura sat on the sofa going through several files on the coffee table when her phone began to ring. She looked for it and found it hiding under the sofa. After accepting the call and putting it on speaker she finally spoke.

"Hey James…"She sighed.

"Hey Laura...what's wrong?"

"Well you know how um…I said that Heaven Can't Wait bullshit movie interviews and whatnot would help the magazine?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, so turns out the magazine got a ton more subscribers and buyers after that whole ordeal."

"That's great!" James smiled. Hey, the magazine needed this, this was perfect! But he couldn't help but wonder why she sounded so upset. "But there's a catch huh…?"

"Oh yeah well um there's a _funny_ reason as to why there's so much attention on the magazine now."

"What did you do?"

"Hey! I'm offended." James rolled his eyes.

"You curse like a sailor and when you're drunk you're brutally honest and talk about sex like it's no big deal, and _that_ offended you?"

"….Point proven. Uh well see… on my blog I kind of wrote a review of how shitty I thought the movie would be and I basically blasted the entire cast saying no one was right for their roles…"

"Why the fuck would you do that?"

"It's a blog, my opinion."

"Your blog is for short stories about killing people."

"…..That wasn't all."

"Oh my god…." James held the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. He knew that Laura had to have royally fucked herself over.

"Yeah so um….after the review that slandered the movie I um…. Kind of took the characters from the movie and….. wrote each of their deaths giving them all separate story lines to die…so I kind of….wrote a fan-fiction for them…. And ummm…."

"What happened…"

"Yeah I got fired." Laura sighed running her hands through her hair.

"Shit….what about the job hunt weren't you looking for something?"

"Yeah I was but magazines don't exactly want me now so all of my job interviews have been cancelled…. I don't know what to do." Laura breathed. She got up from her spot on the sofa and went to the bottom cabinet of the kitchen. She pulled out a bottle of marshmallow vodka and poured some into a glass, then poured coca cola inside. After that night James picked her up from the restaurant, she realized she needed that vodka for her home, it was just too good.

"Alright well just relax you'll find something, maybe I can help you—"

"No James you don't need to help me I can't do that I feel like it's cheating."

"You know in this business it's all about connections and who you know Laura. It's not cheating, it's helping out my girlfriend."

"Yeah well…" She sighed and took a long sip of her drink. "I don't know, I'll live off of my severance pay until I can find something else… god this is hard I'm blacklisted as the awful bitch in media."

"…Hey that works for several people…"

"Let's…not continue that part of the conversation… where are you guys now?"

"Florida." He said it casually, but Laura swore she heard a bit of mischief dancing around in his voice. "Guess who I got to meet?"

"Who…?"

"Your parents."

"WHAT?! WHY!?"

"Because Carlos' parents stopped by and they brought your parents because your moms are sisters and well, it was lovely." James was laughing hysterically while Laura chugged the rest of her drink. "Your mom absolutely _adores_ me."

"Really?"

"Yeah but she said ' I wonder why my daughter always goes for white meat, but now I see why!'"

"Yeah that sounds like her, what about my dad?"

"Your dad and I actually got along pretty quickly. He said 'finally a man and not a lanky little bitch' but then he said he wished I was Spanish in case I got you pregnant the kid wouldn't be mixed."

"That's fucked up, what did you say?"

"Uh, what do you say to that? I just said I'm always there for their daughter and I care about her very much. They want to kill you though."

"Why?" Laura whined. She realized her cup was empty and she pouted pouring more alcohol and soda for herself.

"Because you didn't tell them we were dating, they found out by magazines and photos of us kissing at the airport."

"Wow, that'll do it…" Laura nodded and the two continued to talk until she said she'd let him go back to practicing. They hung up the phone and James turned to Carlos.

"Dude bad news."

"She dumped you for meeting her parents without her and hates you?" Carlos asked, not looking up from the push-ups he was doing on the floor.

"Laura got fired from her job for being her usual bitchy self." Carlos looked up and shook his head, he quickly stood up and wiped his hands on his shirt.

"Shit, how's she doing about it?"

"Well I think she's hitting the bottle right now but she's just focusing on getting something new…" Carlos nodded.

"I'll call her in an hour when I'm sure she's drunk to talk to her about it, thanks James."

**Three Months Into Tour**

"Yo Carlos seriously it isn't summer anymore put your dick away." Kendall laughed watching Carlos leave the dressing room in his boxer-briefs.

"Fuck you Kendall I know you assholes hid my clothes!"

"Why Carlos we don't know what you could possibly be talking about!" Logan laughed, Carlos narrowed his eyes, but they widened when he heard the Sherlock Holmes theme playing, which meant Laura was calling him. Carlos ran over to where James was sitting and threw him off the sofa.

"Asshole you wrinkled my clothes." Carlos muttered. James was sitting on Carlos' clothes but his phone was just too loud to try to muffle the sound. "Hey Laura."

"CARLOS!" Laura screamed so loud he thought she was dying.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SCREAMING FOR?!"

"PUT ME ON SPEAKER GET EVERYONE DO IT NOW!" Carlos sighed and put the phone on speaker, sitting it down on the coffee table while he put his pants on.

"Alright you're on speaker what is it?"

"GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT OH MY GOD I CAN'T EVEN SPEAK!"

"Clearly you can't because you're yelling…" Logan muttered. James elbowed him. "What babycakes?"

"Okay." Laura took a deep breath to try to calm herself down. "You know my blog with all the little short stories?"

"Which short stories, the gruesome, murder stories or the sweet funny stories?" Kendall asked.

"BOTH! Two blogs kid, just separate sections. Anyways guess what?"

"A psychiatrist called and wants to examine your head to see if you're a sociopath?" James added, smiling.

"You know what James? Fuck you because this is amazing right here. Anyways, because the media has decided to blacklist yet assault me all at once, a lot of attention has been put onto my blog, and I mean A LOT! AND GUESS WHAT?!"

"TELL US ALREADY!" The four boys shouted.

"THEY WANT TO TAKE THE MURDER STORIES AND PUBLISH A BOOK OUT OF IT! ABC FAMILY IS CONSIDERING A SHOW THAT CHRONICLES THE LIFE OF A SERIAL KILLER TEENAGER AND THEY WANT ME TO WRITE FOR IT! BUT HBO IS OFFERING TOO! AND SHOWTIME! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" Laura went back to screaming because she was so happy. She literally felt like she was on top of the world.

"CONGRATULATIONS THAT'S AMAZING!" Carlos shouted. "Laura! That's great I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you Carlos! Only one problem…"

"What..?"

"I have to move back to New York." Their faces fell, and they all looked to James who turned ghostly white. "No I'm just fucking with you guys I'm staying in LA, someone tell me James' facial reaction please?"

"You are such a little bitch I swear Laura I'm going to get you back so badly!" James threatened, his heart had stopped when she said she'd have to move back to New York. His threat wasn't taken seriously, Laura just continued to laugh hysterically.

"Oh I bet, yet I don't care, so that's all! I have to go now to scream around my house and then meet up with Marley, so bye bye! I love you guys!" Laura hung up the phone.

**One Week Later**

"You only have two more weeks to go until he comes home you know." Marley said, watching Laura sit upside down in her apartment, pouting and looking like she wanted to cry.

"I know but I miss him so badly I never missed him this badly before!"

"Probably because you haven't touched his dick but you're still dating." Marley shrugged, eating ice cream. "Come on sweetie you can live two more weeks."

"But it's so hard!"

"Laura he calls you every night to sing you to sleep."

"I KNOW BUT I MISS HIM!"

"You are so horny…." Marley shook her head. "See? That's why I have dildos. I'm thinking of making Carlos do one of those dildo molds so—"

"OH MY GOD STOP SPEAKING!" Laura sat up, glaring at Marley who shrugged and laughed. "I really can't wait these last two weeks it's killing me I need to see him."

"Well, if it's really killing you why don't we go see them?" Laura blinked staring at her. "Well, next week they have a show in Arizona. Why don't we….take a road trip down there? You and me?"

"Really? What about Kira and Tori?"

"Last time I tried to road trip with them they said they never wanted to road trip with me again so you'll have to convince them…." Marley said quietly, shoving another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth.

"What did you do….?"

"…..Might have gambled off most of our trip money in Vegas."

"…..Great this plan sounds so fucking full-proof now…. But I don't care… BECAUSE WE'LL GO SEE JAMES DIAMOND! AHHH!"

"I hope to god you fuck him when we see him because this is ridiculous."


	13. Crazy Girls

The four girls sat in Tori's house all packed and ready to go. Each girl requested their vacation time from work, left any pets with other friends so as not to worry about them on the trip, and now they were going through the rules of the trip.

"Rule number one," Tori said, walking back and forth in front of the girls. "No one pees, shits, vomits, or pees in my car."

"You said 'pees' twice." Kira commented.

"I know, because pee is especially hard to get out! Rule number two, driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake-hole."

"You got that from Supernatural." Laura commented as well.

"Shut up! Let me speak! Also, my car is very precious to me. No gambling off my car—"

"I NEVER GAMBLED OFF ANYONE'S CAR TORI!" Marley shouted. Laura and Kira glanced at each other, shrugged and walked out of the house to load up the car.

"BUT YOU WOULD HAVE I'M JUST MAKING IT KNOWN!"

"FUCK YOU!"

"Oh see now I know you're only saying that because you're sexually frustrated, but no sweetie I will not fuck you." Tori smiled and walked out of the door. Marley grumbled, it was true, she needed Carlos but she was not going to answer Tori. Tori locked up the house and went to the driver's side of her black SUV and climbed in while Marley climbed into the back to sit with Laura. "Alright baby girl momma's praying for a smooth trip, don't let me down." Tori cooed as she pet the dashboard.

"Dude that's unhealthy it's just a car." Laura told her. Tori glared at Laura through the rear-view mirror.

"Says you! You worshipped your new rollerblades like if they were children so don't give me that crap."

"Point proven…"

"Are you guys going to be loud, ridiculous, and arguing the entire trip?" Kira questioned as she opened her window.

"Yes." The three girls replied. She chuckled quietly and shook her head.

"Lovely…"

**Laura's POV**

"Guys I think we're lost." Kira said as she stared at absolutely nothing out the window. Okay, so maybe we're lost… but we can't be I'm the one reading the map!

"Sweetie…" I glanced at Marley who looked like she wanted to murder me.

"what?"

"….You're leading us to Nevada not Arizona."

"WHAT THE FUCK LAURA!?" Tori screamed as she pulled over at the rest stop.

"What!? It was an honest mistake!"

"Dude I think you need glasses…" Kira turned from the front seat to look at me and I shook my head. I do not need glasses, I have never needed glasses my vision is damn perfect and it will remain that way until I'm a million years old.

"No I don't…. this map is just really tiny and the lines are small. You read it then!" I tossed the map to Kira who shrugged and told Tori where to go. Tori muttered about a million curses, and I swear she threatened my life, I know she did it. She gets road rage pretty quickly, honestly I find it really amusing but it's also extremely—

"GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY WAY GRANDMA!"

Startling…

Okay to be fair, that woman did definitely cut us off so Tori has the right to be mad.

"GET THE FUCK OFF THE ROAD YOU'RE TOO OLD TO BE ALIVE!"

But now she's just being a bit drastic with this. Still really funny to watch though. So as we continued, well, as Tori continued to drive out of California, Marley decided to talk about Carlos and his dick. Wow, shoot me now.

"So what do you guys think? I really want to get one of those dildo molds and have Carlos put his dick in it so that way when he goes on tour I can still have sex with him, sort of."

"Marley Laura is right there!" Kira said, why thank you sweetie, at least she cares about me hearing of my cousin's sexual exploitations.

"So? I don't care. "

"What a bitch..." I muttered shaking my head.

"Hey if you really need it go for it, I bet that'll be a fun toy to have." Tori laughed as she drove." You could always try phone sex?"

"Have you done it?"

"nope but it's an option right?"

"I don't know, it'd be weird telling Carlos to imagine how I'm dragging my tongue up his shaft if the other guys are like ten feet away from him."

It was right after she said that, that I proceeded to smack my head against the window.

"Dude stop smacking your head on my window. I just got this car cleaned I don't need your blood and or greasy hair spots on my glass."

"Well then tell her to stop talking about Carlos in front of me it's so disturbing!" Marley and Tori just laughed hysterically at me. Apparently me wanting to shoot myself in the head because of them is incredibly funny! Wow, what assholes I mean seriously…

Four hours later we had to stop for food, my stomach was roaring and Tori had become so grouchy she swore she'd slit some man's throat as he was driving. I mean hot damn this bitch is mad…. So we're at the diner, it's adorable, practically deserted but it's still really cute.

"What are you guys getting?" Kira asked as she read the menu. "I'm thinking a salad…"

"Fuck that. Bacon cheeseburger deluxe, extra bacon, and cheese fries." I grinned setting the menu down.

"You're going to get so fat one day I can't wait!" Tori said as she glanced over the menu, "But hell I'll get the same."

"Chicken fingers for me, I'm a child." Marley shrugged.

"One dirty minded child.." I muttered, and she pinched me. What the hell? She says worse than I do! Well, I think she does anyway, it depends on if I'm drunk or not, otherwise we can call it a tie. So we were enjoying our meal, making basic girl talk. Which for us turned into making fun of Marley for gambling away all their money on the last road trip, which I am so thankful I was not a part of. Then this guy with shaggy blonde hair came up to our table and started talking to Kira, and the poor girl is so sweet it was painful to watch as he flirted with her and she just sat there quietly.

"Hey, I don't think she's interested so maybe you might want to just let it go." I told him, he narrowed his eyes at me then went back to flirting with her.

"She's right, I'm not interested I have a boyfriend." Kira said quietly. The guy shrugged and placed a hand on her thigh as he continued to talk to her. Tori stood up slamming her hands on the table as Marley and I picked out some cash to lay on the table.

"Listen you beady-eyed blonde fucker if you don't leave her alone in the next five seconds I will—"

"You'll what, bitch?"

I swear to god Tori fucking snapped. SERIOUSLY! Without even looking down she picked up the steak knife that came with the burgers to cut them in half, and she held it up like a professional sociopath… I mean, a professional knife holder…that's…so much more normal to say. The guy's eyes widened and he walked away mumbling and looking back. The four of us quickly ran out of the diner and into the car as Tori started speeding down the highway.

"Tori what the fuck is WRONG with you?!" Marley screeched. Tori looked at us from the mirror and started laughing hysterically.

"What the fuck is so funny!?" Marley asked.

"I didn't think that was going to work I was so scared he was going to pick up Laura's knife and threaten me back." Tori laughed driving. "I didn't know what the hell I was doing, I was watching mobster movies last night, I thought I should be intimidating!"

"….Well good for you Tori, you looked like a seasoned psychopath back there." I muttered.

"Thank you!"

"Thanks Tori that was really.. needed." Kira nodded. Tori shrugged.

"Nobody's going to bully Logan's little princess as long as I'm around. Well except Marley, what a bitch."

"I'M RIGHT FUCKING HERE YOU KNOW YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING ASSHOLES!"

Another four lovely hours later we checked into our hotel in Arizona. The four of us got a room, we don't need to spend money on one room for each of us, that's stupid… We unloaded our bags and looked at each other, it was six p.m. and their show didn't start until seven, but they didn't go on stage till much later. The four of us took showers and started to get dolled up to see them. Well they did.

"Laura put on a dress or a skirt or something." Tori said as Marley zipped up her green dress.

"The fuck do I have to dress up for? James is just going to be super sweaty and disgusting when he sees me, why do I have to look nice?"

"So he obviously feels like you give a damn!"

"….We're in Arizona aren't we?"

"Dude you were crying for the last four months how desperately you needed James and now that we're here you don't want to dress up?" Marley marched over to my bag and started pulling out clothes, throwing everything around. She pulled out a three-quarter sleeve scoop neck bright blue dress that stopped mid-thigh. "You are going to wear this. This is sexy as hell. You are going to pair this with black pumps, and look hot for James."

"I was going to wear that with skinny jeans."

"THIS IS A GOD DAMN DRESS NOT A FUCKING SHIRT WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"

"But see it's long enough to be a dress but I can play it down as a shirt—"

"GET IN THE FUCKING BATHROOM AND PUT THIS ON!" Marley threw the clothes at me, even the shoes, which again hit me in the arm. That little fucker every damn time..

"Come on Laura hurry up I want to see Logan." Kira whined.

"Alright Kira, only because you're the nicest one here." I chuckled and ran to the bathroom getting dressed. I used some of Tori's make up and applied that whole smoky eye thing and some pink lip-gloss. I threw the bathroom door open and leaned against it dramatically posing with my arms up holding the door frame. "Am I pretty now?"

"Damn…" Marley whistled. "If James doesn't fuck you tonight then he's actually gay with Carlos."

"Marley don't jinx it! I don't want to be James' beard." I laughed and grabbed my phone and wallet and shoved it into a little clutch I had brought along.

"Alright, so, their security guy is gonna get us in?" I asked Tori who nodded.

"Yeah Danny's going to be waiting a block away and we'll walk in with him, the boys won't even know what hit them!" I nodded and the four of us once again jumped into her car and let her drive us until we were a block away. After fifteen minutes of a calm parking spot search, and twenty minutes of her swearing at people as she looked for a spot, we finally found a spot big enough for her car and we walked to meet Danny. We found him waiting and smoking a cigarette bored out of his mind.

"Sheesh, took you guys long enough—"

"SHUT UP IT WAS THE FUCKING PARKING!" Tori shouted walking past him. He looked at us for sympathy and we just shook our heads, poor thing had to suffer her wraith today. He walked us to the venue and led us in through the back entrance. When we got there we scurried to the dressing room and sat in their chairs. You could tell just by looking at us that we were all excited, we could not stop smiling.

"Wait a minute, they'll be in here for a costume change. We need to hide somewhere else!" Kira had a good point, so we got up _again_ and ran out, hiding in one of the un-used rooms. Marley sat by the door peeking out every so often.

"Kira looks like she's going to pee she's so excited." I laughed staring at Kira. She blushed and nodded, pushing her hair behind her ear.

"I miss my Logan! I can't help it…"

"Well, we'll see them soon." I nodded sat there, but I felt so impatient. I mean holy crap, it sucks when they're on tour four months not hugging or smelling or hanging out with James at all? Shit dude it's so difficult.

"They're leaving no—" Before Marley even finished speaking Tori was up, which surprised me I thought Kira would have jumped up first. Tori marched out of the room and started walking to the group. Their backs were towards us and they were joking around with each other as they pulled off their ear pieces . Kendall was the last one walking in the group so Tori, when she was close enough, ran and jumped on his back. Kendall yelled and flew forward hitting the ground. The three other idiots, I mean, men, turned around quickly thinking something happened. Tori was grinning ear to ear as she straddled Kendall's back. Kendall twisted his body and smiled.

"Tori! The hell are you doing here?"

"Visiting my favorite white boy!" Tori leaned down and held his face kissing him. Logan chuckled at the fact that Tori tackled him like a football star to the floor, but soon enough Kira had thrown herself at him, nearly knocking him over as well.

"KIRA!"

"LOGIE!" Kira giggled and hugged him tightly. Oh my god those two are so fucking cute! Ugh, I want to put them in my pocket and just crush them!

"Shall we go?" Marley smirked and I nodded. I turned around to put my shoes back on and Marley had already left me! Shit… I started walking over to them and saw her eating Carlos' face, dear god, I could be spared that image. When I reached the six of them James wasn't there.

"Hey where's Ja—" I didn't even have to finish my question, and I'm glad I didn't. James spun me around and pulled me right against his chest as he planted a hard kiss on my lips. Holy crap, wow. My hands just flew up to hold his face as he kissed me and I never wanted it to stop, but I heard Carlos clear his throat behind me. I chuckled and pulled away, turning to see Carlos glaring.

"Right here you know."

"Oh but it's okay for Marley to suck your face off in front of her?" James challenged.

"….Point taken." He shrugged. I grinned and turned back to James who was smiling so wide it was adorable. He pulled away more to look me up and down.

"Wow, you look….great."

"Thanks James, you don't look bad for someone who is sweating intensely looking like he ran a marathon. Well, you could look better."

"Oh how I missed that little bitchy attitude of yours." He leaned down to kiss me again and I sighed happily. Ugh, he needs to be home!

"Oh how I missed your gay little hairstyle." I reached up and tugged on his hair and he just continued to stare at me.

"Alright Laura, I see how it is watch your back missy." He warned before walking away.

"Hey where are you going?"

"We need to go shower!" Carlos answered, pulling away from Marley. "So we can all go out, can't waste a night out with you guys here now."

"Yeah, you look too beautiful to just keep you inside." James winked and I melted. Alright, I'm satisfied, I can go home now. Sweet Jesus.

James Diamond you beautiful son of a bitch.


	14. Great Night

**James' POV**

I just have to say that might be the sweetest and awesomest surprise we could ever get, our girlfriends showing up at our show to see us. When I saw Laura walking towards the group I had to hide and sneak up on her, I wasn't going to let her _try_ and tackle me in that tight dress and those gorgeous heels, that was not going to happen. After me and the guys got dressed to go out we went to a club for a little bit. I have to say, what a tease it was to see her move and dance with the girls. She just looks _so good_ I can't handle it. I haven't seen Laura in months and just holding her in my arms I could smell the floral perfume she always dabs behind her ears. The coconut shampoo she swears she didn't start using because of me, but really I know she did. God, I can't let her go.

**Laura's POV**

I stopped dancing with Tori to get a drink, it's hot in here and I desperately need some marshmallow vodka. I started walking towards the bar and I could see Kendall leaving James to go join Tori. When I got there I could see a shot sitting where Kendall was at the bar, desperately calling my name. I reached for the shot but James quickly took the shot away and put it behind him.

"Hey!" I leaned over him to reach it but he held both my arms to my sides.

"No shots, I want you to remember tonight." He said in my ear, his lips brushed against the shell of my ear before he bit down on the lobe. Oh fuck I think I finally get to touch James Diamond tonight. I pulled away and he looked at me smirking, oh that teasing son of a bitch if we don't do anything I might have to rape him. James started to drag me away from the bar, looking for someone we know. He saw Logan and Kira dancing and he told Logan we were heading out. Kira giggled and looked at me giving me the thumbs up, so naturally I shot her a wink before James quickly dragged me away. Getting to the hotel was all such a blur, the ride was so quick I couldn't believe it, but the elevator ride up to his room was agonizingly slow. It was three in the morning, we were the only ones in the elevator, but getting to the tenth floor seemed to take forever.

As soon as we got into his room he pushed me against the door and held my hips as he shoved his tongue in my mouth. Oh, swoon…

"You." He bit my neck. "Were such a tease," he bit my collarbone. "in this dress," his hands worked their way up my body until they were at the neckline of the dress "all night." He pressed his lips onto mine and then ripped my dress down the middle, pulling it off of me.

"James my dress!" I gasped as he picked me up like I was weightless and dragged me to the bed.

"I'll buy you a new one." He dropped me on the bed then quickly crawled over me.

WOO NO MORE TEASING FUCK EVERYONE YES! Well…fuck James Diamond, hehehe.

**Next Morning**

Oh my god. If I could wake up naked with James' arms wrapped around me every day I would. I slowly turned around to look at him, he looked like such an angel—

Wait what the fuck his hair is still looking awesome even after me pulling it, after sleeping, it looks fucking flawless. I don't understand this boy, what the fuck kind of sorcery does he do to his hair?

Anyways…

When I turned around I smiled, aside from the witchcraft hair he looked so damn cute. Also now I could really appreciate those muscles. I let my fingertips graze over his muscles, trailing along the outlines. A few minutes of me doing this he opened one eye and pulled me closer. "Morning." He mumbled planting a kiss on my forehead.

"Good morning James Diamond." I grinned.

"Don't you mean, Good Morning James Diamond, god of sex, love, and sex? Best you've ever had? Master of the bedroom?"

"You know, that cocky attitude isn't going to get you anywhere."

"Speaking of cock—"

"Shut it." I laughed and slapped his chest and he just rolled over on top of me and pecked my lips, smiling wide.

"So do you think that was worth the wait? I think that was worth the wait but you know you were so eager to have my big—"

"JAMES! Shut up!" I pushed him hard and he flew off the bed. I sat up on my elbow, pointed at him as though we were in grade school and proceeded to laugh at him.

"Oh you think that's funny do you Laura?" I simply nodded and continued laughing. He grabbed my outstretched arm and yanked me off the bed.

"OW JAMES RUG BURN ON A BOOB IS NOT FUN!"

"Yeah well try rug burn on my bare ass! My ass is beautiful it cannot be burned."

"You're such an ass sometimes." I sat up and slapped him on the chest. He chuckled and pulled me to him again, kissing me. "Oh wait, you know what's awesome? You ripped my dress what the fuck am I supposed to wear?"

"Heat of the moment baby sorry." He shrugged and looked to the side. "Text one of the girls to bring you some clothes."

"But I don't know who is at the hotel or who came here…"

"….Mass text."

"….shit." I sighed and crawled over to my clutch on the floor. I pulled out my phone and sent a text to the three of them to bring me clothes. Instantly I got three responses.

"Marley said good for you, so glad you finally fucked him, hope you sucked it but I'm not at the room, Tori said thank god you got your rocks off, not at the room, and Kira said congratulations but I'm in Logan's room! So…I have no clothes."

"Uh, well you can wear mine."

"You do realize you're 6'1 and I'm 5'5 right?"

"Oh, I forget you're a midget sometimes."

"James you are naked, I will kick your dick."

"No you wouldn't because then you wouldn't get to touch it anymore." He smirked and got up from the floor, walking to his luggage case and pulling on a pair of boxer briefs. I rolled my eyes and pulled on my own undergarments, since that's all I have. "You won't answer because it's true." He laughed.

"Oh James, so funny, kiss my ass."

"Don't tempt me." He smirked and threw me one of his v-necks and a pair of his sweatpants to wear. When I pulled the clothes on he looked at me and laughed. "Dear god you look like a child."

"So that makes you a pedophile, how charming!" He walked towards me to do god knows what, but then there was a knock at the door.

"You are lucky this time." I grinned and belly flopped on his bed while he went and opened the door . "Marley?"

"I just gotta see the damage." She walked in past James, wearing her clothes from last night and decided to look around the room. She saw my dress on the floor and bent down picking it up. "Wow….so this is why you needed clothes. Wow James…"

"Alright alright yes he ripped my dress apart can you find me woman clothes please? I'm swimming in his clothes here!"

"I don't know, I definitely want to make you do the walk of shame dressed like that."

"…..Fuck you Marley."

"Really? You know who I did fuck last night? I fucked your cousin last night and oh my god it was so good! We were undressing and we didn't know where we were going but we ended up in the bathroom and he just bent me over the sink and we went at it like monkeys."

No I really might just kill myself if I keep hearing this shit.

"MARLEY WHAT THE FUCK!?"

"And, I still had my heels on."

I looked at James who was smirking like he wanted to go congratulate Carlos. When I glared at him he stopped smirking and looked away pretending like he hadn't heard a thing. I got up and walked towards Marley who stood there laughing. I grabbed her arm and held it tightly. "Take me to the room. Now."

"Why—"

"Do it." Marley led me back to Carlos' room and opened the door with the key card he gave her. When we walked in, James was following behind like he wanted to know what was going to happen. I let go of Marley when we walked in and stood with my arms crossed glaring at Carlos.

"Do you think it's funny that Marley walked in here and told me what you two did last night?" Carlos smirked.

"Well, Marley told me tons of things about you and James for weeks that I had to put up with. So I think we're even."

"Oh. You think we're even? Hardly." I glared at him. "This will make us even. Last night James ripped my dress in half and threw me on the bed and we did it for _hours_ I mean it didn't stop. I think the people next door to us heard my crying his name because it hurt so good and he had me on my knees, holding my hands behind my back and just—"

"ALRIGHT I GET THE POINT NO MORE DISCUSSING THIS STUFF JUST STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!" Carlos shouted covering his ears.

"Wow that's kind of hot." Marley blinked staring between the two of us.

"You guys are weird. I'll be in my room looking beautiful." James turned away to leave. I stuck my tongue at the both of them and followed him back to his room, kicking him in the butt with each step I took. Once we got back in the room he kicked me right in the butt and I fell over.

"JAMES WHAT AN ASSHOLE!"

"You kicked me in the butt!"

"But you didn't fall!"

"Well it's not my fault you're smaller than me and can't hold your own against my amazing strength."

I just blinked staring up at him from the floor. I stood up and ruffled his hair.

"Really Laura? Don't mess with my hair because yours doesn't look nearly as good as mine."

"Umm, my hair doesn't need to look as good as yours. That's what my boobs are for."

"That's classy."

"I know." I chuckled and flopped on the bed scurrying under the covers and getting snuggled in. "So what are you doing today?"

"Well originally I was going to go to the gym with Carlos before leaving in a few hours for our next show."

"Ohhhh, big buff man."

"I know, you love it." James crawled into bed beside me and wrapped his arms around me, kissing my cheek. "But I _guess_ I could stare here and spend time with you." He made a disgusted face and I laughed and bit his lip. "Oh really? Going to act that disappointed to see me? I'll just go right home then." I moved to get away but James just tightened his grip on me and pulled me even closer.

"No don't leave yet, I just got you back." He nuzzled me and kept his arms wrapped around me.

"AWW YOU MISSED ME! JAMES DIAMOND MISSED ME!"

"Oh stop. You're the one that chased me here." He laughed and bit my neck.

"Wow, touché James.."


	15. Woopsie

**(short chapter! As you can see im a bit stuck here, but yeah…short chapter)**

Laura had been working diligently since she got back from surprising James towards the end of his tour. She decided not to go with Showtime or ABC Family, instead she contacted AMC and they were incredibly interested in turning her stories into a show. Since she was now becoming more well known, people wanted to talk to her. There was a few small magazines that wanted to talk to her, then she had to worry about publicity for the show, there was so much she was trying to schedule she couldn't handle it, since Tori was a publicist before quitting to become a personal trainer Tori started to manage Laura on the side, which was a giant help to Laura. Now James arrived back in LA early that morning and Laura completely forgot she was supposed to pick him up, so James was pretty pissed at her.

It seems like he's angry for no reason, but he has a valid excuse, he always put her first. He would surprise her at work with food, take care of Gizmo, wait for her packages, and she couldn't even pick him up at the airport. Now Laura had to find a way to make it up to James. She hadn't even left the house for the last three days, unless it was to walk Gizmo quickly. There were coffee cups everywhere, random take out containers everywhere and she can't even remember when she last showered. Laura sighed standing up from her computer desk and glancing at the mess. First she cleaned up everything, then took a nice hot shower. After she cleaned both her apartment and herself up, she thought long and hard about what she could do for James. She felt like a rotten sack of shit because James was hurt by her not meeting him at the airport, or rather, forgetting that he even got home that day. Laura sat down at the desk and typed up a 'contract' for James as a gift. After that she printed it, pulled on a cute outfit and jumped into her car. First, she went to In&Out Burger and bought him two burgers and fries, animal style. Afterwards she went to the mall and bought him a care basket of his favorite soaps, shampoos, and various hair products, and stuff for his surfboard, but that still didn't feel like enough. Lastly, she went and bought him a lovely pair of shades.

"Fuck I hope this is enough." She muttered and jumped back into her car. After driving to the Big Time Rush house she knocked loudly on the door, trying to balance everything she had, holding the contract between her lips. No one else was home, they were out with their girlfriends that actually remembered they were coming home. James opened the door and smirked crossing his arms over his chest.

"Well what's this? Someone was sent on a wicked guilt trip huh?" Rather than helping her with the gifts he leaned against the door frame. Laura groaned trying to juggle everything. James sighed and opened the door up for her, he didn't help her carry everything, just let her walk in. She stepped in as quickly as possible and first set the food on the coffee table before dropping everything else on the sofa and pulling the contract out of her mouth. Laura turned around quickly to see James standing there in a basic tank top and sweatpants, arms over his chest staring down at her with no emotion..

"Okay James I know I am a HUGE clit face right now because I forgot you were coming home and I didn't pick you up. Meanwhile you always do so much for me and I never seem to return the favor. So here." Laura held out the contract to him which had her signature in large print at the bottom.

"What the hell is this? A contract?"

"Just read it gay boy!" She growled. James raised an eyebrow and looked down at the paper. He cleared his throat and read it out loud.

"I, Laura Ramone am a complete and total clit face." James looked over the paper with a smirk at Laura. "I have done wrong by my amazing boyfriend, James Diamond and I am truly sorry. I just want to show how grateful I am to have this stud in my life and show how much I appreciate him. Therefore, I will do whatever James wants for one full week. However, if he decides to enact a revenge that is far too embarrassing or ridiculous I have full right to slap him in the face with a dirty pair of underwear." He chuckled setting the contract down on the coffee table. "Wow Laura you feel bad for me don't you?"

"Yes I do! Can you please forgive me? Look I got you one of your favorite meals to get back when you come back home! I got you a bunch of stuff for your surfboards, your favorite soaps, shampoos, hair products. Sunglasses!" She held up the basket and gift bag, James rolled his eyes and pulled her in for a kiss, making her drop everything on the ground.

"You know, all you had to do was say you were sorry and bring food, you didn't need to do all of this." He laughed grabbing a french fry.

"Fuck are you serious!?" Now Laura felt like she just got taken advantage of and that she did something stupid. James grinned and nodded, bringing the burger to his lips and taking a huge bite.

"But, since you're already my personal bitch for a week, I'd love it if you could go and grab me a bottle of water, some napkins…" Laura sighed and walked to the kitchen. "In your underwear."

"What? Why—"

"You have to do whatever I say." James grinned.

"Clearly this was a bad idea." Laura muttered stripping to her underwear. James grinned seeing her wear matching navy blue bra and underwear, his favorite color.

"Mmm not for me, now go get that water." He snapped his finger and Laura stared at him, raising her hand to slap him on the head but James proudly held up the contract to her face. She sighed and went to the kitchen, grabbed some water and napkins and placed it on the coffee table for James.

"Anything else, James?"

"Hmm….call me Mr. Diamond." James grinned, finishing his burger and moving on to the fries.

"Anything else Mr. Diamond?" Laura growled. James thought for a moment, smirking and staring at her. "Oh god I don't like that devious glint in your eyes." James chuckled and reached into his pocket pulling out a key then tossed it to Laura.

"Go to my room, go to the nightstand and open the top drawer with that key. You're going to pull everything out the drawer and spread it on top of the nightstand and lay on that bed. Got it?"

"….I don't know—"

"Well too bad you have to, technically I own you for a week." James cackled and continued to eat as Laura picked up her clothes and jogged upstairs. After tossing her clothes on his computer chair, she walked over to the nightstand and unlocked the drawer. When she pulled it open her jaw dropped at the sight of handcuffs and various sex toys still in their packaging. "WOW. Best deal I ever did!" She muttered happily pulling everything out.

**PAGE BREAK PAGE BREAK PAGE BREAK PAGE PAGE PAGE PAGE BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK YES THEY HAD SEX HERE DURING THE PAGE BREAK HAHAHA**

After her "sex induced coma" as James liked to call it, Laura awoke to see James sitting up in bed watching TV. She smiled and sat up, pulling the sheet up with her and snuggling into his chest.

"Well, don't you look happy?" James chuckled," That contract? Best idea ever, you're my bitch for a week and you can't do anything about it."

"Well if every day is like that for a week I don't mind." Laura kissed his bare chest and wrapped her arms around him." SO James—"

"Mr. Diamond."

"Ugh, so Mr. Diamond—"

"Mr. Diamond is my father—"

"I WILL SLAP YOU!" James threw his head back and laughed. Laura growled and bit his nipple to which he sucked his teeth and pinched her arm. "Anyway, how were the last few shows? Anyone rape you and your gay little ass?"

"Nope, no one raped me lucky for oyu. What about you, ya little bitch I heard someone's got a deal with AMC, every AMC show is godly. Just ask Carlos he follows The Walking Dead religiously."

"I know! I'm so excited, it's going to be so bloody and disgusting ugh I can't wait. Everyone will die."

"….Good thing we didn't have this conversation through a phone call or the government would be having a field day with that." James muttered.

"They would, I bet their psychologist would be frightened with what I write." Laura sat up on her calves. "I wish I could be as good as Stephen King, I want to fuck with people's heads."

"You will be, give it time my little psychopath." James ruffled her hair and laughed. Laura rolled her eyes and the two of them rolled out of bed. James tossed her a t shirt and pair of sweats which she happily pulled on. After James dressed himself the two began to walk out the bedroom, but Laura slipped and fell. James had to help her up, roll up the sweatpants and continue their walk to the kitchen. "Well, as your next duty Laura, you're going to make me the after-sex snack."

"So what would you like as the after sex snack today Mr. Diamond?" Laura leaned against the counter and James thought for a moment.

"Get me some milk and white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. Put them all on a plate, decorate it with strawberries, carry it out to me in the living room." He leaned over and kissed his slave, I mean, his girlfriend's forehead. "Thanks babe. "He winked and walked away to put on a movie.

"I kind of screwed myself over with this…"She mumbled following his orders exactly. When Laura walked into the living room with the milk and plate of cookies, she chuckled seeing James playing their favorite movie, well. Not individual favorite, just a favorite for the two of them to watch. The credits began for Lethal weapon and the two glanced at each other with a grin.

"I'm getting' too old for this shit!"


	16. Chop Chop!

When Laura woke up the following morning she was surprised to see James had laid out clothes for her. She walked over and furrowed her eyebrows, wondering how there were clothes for her, and then remembered she had left a few pieces of clothing there in the past.

"Dumbass…" she muttered, cursing herself under her breath. Laura looked through the clothes, the jeans she wore last night, a pair of flats she had forgotten, a white blouse her bra, and blue lace underwear that were definitely not the pair she wore last yesterday. Laura lifted the folded pair, and noticed a post it note on them.

_Wear these today, and no, they don't belong to some tramp. I bought them for you, my favorite color :D._

"Not sure how I feel about James buying me underwear…." She muttered, but regardless she slipped out of his clothes and pulled those on instead. After getting ready for the day she wrote on a post-it note she was going to work, and she'd see him later. After sticking it on his beautiful forehead she quickly left the house and into her car. First she went back home to check up on Gizmo, feed him, take him for a walk, and then she grabbed breakfast and went to work at the studio headquarters. When she got there they discussed the script for their Pilot episode. After talking with other writers, director, producer, Laura got up from the table and started to walk to her office. As she was walking she felt a vibration and her eyes widened, realizing where it was coming from.

"No he did not…" Laura ran to her office and shut the door behind her, calling James and crossing her legs as she sat on the chair trying to ignore the sensations.

"Oh good afternoon baby…"

"Jaaaames." What was meant to be an angry statement of his name turned out into a drawn out moan. James chuckled over the phone.

"Oh what's going on there Laura?"

"You son of a bitch turn it off!"

"Turn it off? Turn what off? Oh, do you possibly mean the vibrating panties I tricked you into wearing?" James stared down at the remote in his hand and pressed one of the buttons on the remote. Laura clawed her desk and closed her eyes.

"Please James I'm at work this isn't funny!"

"I thought I was Mr. Diamond." He said flatly. "Oh come on Laura just a good time at work."

"Turn it off!" James sighed and turned off his evil toy. Laura sighed and leaned back in the chair. "If you _ever_ do that again when I'm at work I'll take an electric razor to your head. Got it?"

"Oh come on Laura I was just—"

"Don't even James. I mean it, I'm going to slap you with dirty underwear later, and this is unfair."

"That's disgusting and I won't let you do that."

"Try me." Laura muttered and hung up the phone. She sighed and looked around her desk. After picking up a script she grabbed a bright green pen and began to read over the script they had put together for the first episode. She took part in writing, and since these were her stories, she was there as a consultant and to check over the script. Well, Laura is a bit of a control freak when it comes to her work. So her getting paid royalties for them making the show wasn't enough, she needed to make sure they were doing it right. Now that there's a show, and a book of these stories being published, well she can finally start to compete with James in the money category.

After working for a little while she left and drove home to see Gizmo sitting on the couch with Carlos. After dropping her purse on the coffee table in front of the two, they both tilted their heads to stare at her. She laughed and clapped her hands, and Gizmo jumped off the sofa and pounced on his owner. Laura scratched behind his ear and kissed the top of his snout. "Hey Carlos, how are you cuz?"

"I'm alright; saw Marley yesterday and we went out for dinner." Carlos moved over so Laura could sit, and when she did Gizmo laid on top of both of them. "Spoke to James this morning…"

"OH god, and what did James say?"

"That you're his slave for a week." Carlos threw his head back and laughed. "What is wrong with you? Why the hell would you make that sort of deal!?"

"Well I felt really bad about not being at the airport and he was mad and for some reason I felt bad!"

"You know, he was only doing that to see how far you'd go to make it up to him right?" Carlos chuckled petting Gizmo. "He said it would be revenge for you telling him you were moving back to New York over the phone."

"Are you serious!?"

"Yeah…."

"THAT SON OF A BITCH!" Laura threw her head back and sighed heavily. "I can't believe I let James trick me!"

"I believe you've met your match Laura." Carlos chuckled. Laura could be a mega bitch, manipulative, full of rude or sarcastic comments, but James had finally one-upped her.

"No! I have not met my match damn it I will not be pronounced a loser. I will get over on this. I will come out as the winner."

"Yeah I bet you will…" Carlos shook his head. "Come on, just admit defeat, there is no way for you to get James back on this."

"Carlos, where there is a will, there's a way. Like I finally got you and Marley back with all that sex talk by being extremely graphic about my night with James.

"Yeah, that was disgustingly disturbing by the way…"

"Well, it got the job done. Ugh, come on help me Carlos you're my favorite cousin!"

"I don't know… why don't you hide in his dressing room and scare him?"

"Eh I don't know that sounds lame…"

"Then you're on your own Laura…"

"Pft." Laura shook her head, petting her dog. After a few minutes of watching television with Carlos, her phone started ringing. "Hey James…"

"Hey, So I need you at the house soon and bring Carlos. Logan and Kendall are on their way home so I think you should come to the house and cater to us hand and foot."

"James I am not a maid—"

"Contraaaaaact." He sang. "I got an outfit for you."

"….Bye James." She hung up and glanced at Carlos who shook his head. "I feel bad for you."

"Me too." She muttered. "Up Gizmo, we're gonna see James." Gizmo got up and ran away, waiting by the door to leave. Carlos stood up and grabbed a leash, putting it on Gizmo.

"So, what are you guys doing tonight?" Laura asked as they walked to Carlos' jeep.

"Do you really want to know?"

"Obviously."

"Tonight is the night where the four of us just go on lockdown." Laura furrowed her eyebrows staring at Carlos as he drove.

"WAIT A MINUTE! Is this that thin that you guys do where none of you assholes respond to anyone for an entire night?"

"Twenty-four hours to be exact."

_Okay, I know what this is. Carlos and James often joke about being gay together; this must be the four of them just having a gay orgy with each other for twenty-four hours._

"What the hell do you boys do for the 'lockdown' hmm?"

"We pig out, we order tons of food and it just turns into a video game movie night, we just party…by ourselves."

"Is this a gay party?"

"No."

"Do you go down on James or does he go down on you?"

"Laura do you really want to go there because I will traumatize you with the things I do to Marley right now and there will be no regrets.."

"….Okay fine no more gay comments." She sighed holding her hands up in defeat, and Carlos laughed and continued to drive. Once they arrived the two of them plus Gizmo walked inside to see James grinning and waiting in the hallway expectantly. Gizmo ran over and jumped up onto James letting his paws rest on James' shoulders. He chuckled and pet the dog; scratching behind his ears and kissing his snout before letting it run off into the living room to tackle the other two males. James bent down grabbing a black shopping bag and holding it up to Laura.

"Dude if you're making my cousin run around in lingerie—"

"Ohhhh I'm not doing that Carlos..." James chuckled thinking about the events earlier in the day. "Just a fun outfit." He shoved the bag into her chest and Laura peered in.

"Absolutely not."

"You have to do what I say, it's in the contract."

"But this is just cruel…"

"Sorry….couldn't hear you." James shrugged and smirked in amusement as Laura stalked off to the bathroom cursing and swearing how she'll kick James in the balls violently. The four boys were sitting on the couch watching TV, when a pink monster came into view. Woops, sorry, I mean, Laura came into view. Three of them were laughing hysterically while James sat there, proud of his work. She was wearing a pair of hot pink pants, pink pumps, a hot pink tank top, and a bright pink belt. She looked like a hot mess and it was awful. "Eesh what a terrible outfit." James laughed.

"YOU PICKED IT OUT ASSHOLE!"

"Oh I know, because I know you _love_ pink." Laura blinked staring at him and turned to walk away. "Oh no no no you come back." She sighed and walked back over to him. "What James?"

"It's Mr. Diamond…"

"What Mr. Diamond?" She growled with her hands crossed over her chest.

"Well, we are about to play the new Halo game, so pop that into the 360, and when you're done you'll pour us beverages of our choice." She waited, listening to the drinks they wanted before stalking off to the kitchen after putting the game in for them.

"I'm not sure if I condone you treating my cousin like a slave…" Carlos murmured as they waited for the infinity slayer match to start.

"Oh come on dude it's pretty awesome." James chuckled. "Sweet revenge."

"Yeah but it's messed up…" Carlos' thoughts were clouded when he saw Laura walk over with his chocolate milkshake with whipped cream, chocolate powder on top, rainbow sprinkles and cookie bits mixed in. "WOAH I TAKE IT BACK THIS ROCKS! Thanks Laura."

"Sure thing Carlos…. Anything else Mr. Diamond?"

"Yeah….what do we feel like eating boys?"

"OH! I need some peach rings." Kendall nodded.

"Yeah get me some gummy bears…" Logan added.

"I want some mango." Carlos said, slurping his milkshake.

"And I want some macadamia nut cookies…chop chop." He smirked and Laura's brain snapped.

"JAMES DIAMOND I KNOW I FUCKED UP AND SAID I'LL DO WHAT YOU ASKED FOR A WEEK BUT YOU DON'T SAY CHOP CHOP TO ME!" She slapped him hard across the face. "I was humoring this at first but _chop chop_? I'm not your mother, I'm not your maid, I don't care if I messed up before I'm not gonna let you say _chop chop_ like if I'm the help around here! Oh, and the vibrating underwear thing before? SO unprofessional and uncalled for so quite frankly JAMES, you can go fuck yourself!" Laura took the pumps off, threw them to the side and marched right out of the living room, then marched right back in after changing her clothes. "Forgot Gizmo…"She muttered, tapping the dog awake and taking him outside so they could start their long walk home.

"…VIBRATING UNDERWEAR!?" Carlos stared at James who was looking at the floor with a red hand print on his face. "Dude what the hell!?"

"I think he has other problems on his hands aside from the vibrating underwear incident." Logan muttered staring at James' red cheek. "Like how he just discovered Laura in fact does not like being a slave."

"She said she'd do whatever I said to do for a week!"

"Yeah but that doesn't mean treat her like a maid dude….you gotta do it in small doses, not all the time and big things, it's gotta be little stuff. Tori did that for me for like five days, first day I was treating her like the way you treated Laura just now and she nearly ripped my ear off…" Kendall touched his ear remembering that day." So after that it was smaller things, or bigger things less frequently or—"

"Or getting her to use the kama sutra?" Logan smirked.

"Shut up Fireman Logan."


	17. Ripping Dresses

**(Hi guys! I know it's been awhile, I'm kind of dry on an idea for this story so…I don't know what to do with mahself)**

It was safe to safe that Laura was _livid_ at the chop chop comment. Granted it was her own idea that got her into that position in the first place, it was that James was taking advantage of it and acting like a slave-owner that started to slowly set her off. When she got home to her condo she let Gizmo's leash go and he ran around like a little psycho dog before jumping into his bed. Laura watched him amused, then quickly remembered she was pissed off.

**Don't bother letting james leave, im super pissed** she had texted Carlos.

**James is an adult he'll leave if he wants to**

**You can stop him**

**He already left**

She growled to herself and flopped on the couch. "Men are so stupid and dependent." She muttered to herself. "Women are needy blah blah blah. Oh no, it's the men that are dependent and need people to wipe their asses!" She propped her feet up on the coffee table and turned on the TV. Of course Nickelodeon was on and it was an episode of Big Time Rush. It was a re-run and James was on the screen spinning wildly until he was bandana man.

"YOU LOOK LIKE A RETARD! DUMBASS!" She shouted and changed the channel. "Fucking…stupid." She hissed under her breath and changed the channel until she came across an old movie she used to watch with Carlos, _True Lies_ with Arnold Schwarzenegger "Pft. I want adventure. " She mumbled watching the movie. Gizmo stirred from his sleep from all of Laura's shouting. He sauntered over and hopped onto the couch, resting his head on her lap. "Too much yelling? Sorry Gizmo." She pet his ears and continued to watch the movie. A knock at the door made Gizmo get up and run over to bark. Laura walked over and peaked into the peep-hole. "I'm not opening the door James I'm pissed at you!"

"Come on I want to talk to you let me in Laura don't be a bitch!"

"I AM NOT A BITCH!"

"You know you are." He glared into the peep-hole and she frowned. "Damn it he's right I'm a major bitch." She mumbled to herself. "Open the door Laura."

"No!"

"I will kick this door down young lady."

"You're not strong enough." She teased, smirking as she stared at him through the peep-hole. James raised an eyebrow and shrugged. He took three steps back and just as he lifted his leg Laura shouted for him to stop. She quickly undid the locks and opened the door ushering him in. "You don't need to break my damn door." She muttered.

"Well clearly I do to get inside." He stared down at Laura . "Want to sit…?"

"No I'll stand. Make this worth my time." She crossed her arms over her chest and stared up at him.

"Alright look, I'm sorry I totally treated you like a stereotypical Spanish maid."

"That's _really_ not good James." She interrupted. James narrowed his eyes staring at her and she shrugged. "Continue."

"Anyways…I'm sorry. I'm sorry for purposely humiliating you and making you wait on me hand and foot. I know the contract said I could do anything I wanted with you but I took that to a whole new level. So _please_ stop acting like an angry bitch and forgive me."

"You're really not good at apologies are you?"

"Clearly neither are you, since you're the one that made that contract." He smirked with one hand in his pocket, the other scratching the back of his neck.

"…Good point." She sighed and looked around her place quickly before coming up with her decision. "Fine…I'll forgive you, but you have to do something for me."

"And that is?" She smirked staring up at James, and James didn't know whether to be scared or smirk back at her. He was hoping it was a sexual favor but Laura could be devious.

"Walk outside in a dress. Buy me ice cream and walk me back here then you can go back to the guys. " James laughed loudly then his face fell to be completely serious. "You can't be serious."

"Deadly."

"With what dress huh? You don't have a dress in my size."

'oh but on the contrary.." Laura sauntered back to her room and came back with a black spandex dress. "Spandex can stretch."

"No."

"Wear the damn dress or I'll go on your twitter account and start hitting on random under-aged fans." James eyes widened and he grabbed the dress "You're a devious girl Laura."

"You love it." She grinned and sat on the couch waiting for James to be ready. A few moments later James struggled to walk out of her room wearing the black spandex dress. Laura giggled staring at him walk to her with the shortest footsteps. He tried to bend down to pull the dress down more but he heard a split so he quickly straightened up. "Okay, fine let's go…"He sighed. Laura stared at him and took a quick picture. "Okay you can go play games now."

"Wait what?" He furrowed his eyebrows staring at her.

"What? The fact that you even put the dress on is good enough I won't make you go outside." James sighed of relief and literally ripped the dress off of his body." Wow but after that I probably should."

"Hey it's your fault you tried to tame this sexy beast in a dress." He laughed and stood there in his tight boxer briefs. Laura nodded staring him down like a predator, James smirked and walked to her pulling her flush against his chest. "You like what you see don't you?"

"Absolutely." She breathed. He leaned in as though he was going to kiss her, and right as their lips touched he quickly pulled away and walked to her room to get dressed. "Love to stay and chat beautiful girl but I have to go back to our lockdown and play games, you're kind of distracting me." Laura stood there stunned watching James' backside as he walked away. Moments later he emerged fully dressed and he walked up to her to say goodbye. Laura was impatient, perhaps she could steal a kiss and magically persuade him with her body to stay and fuck her senseless. She tiptoed for a kiss but he simply kissed her forehead and went for the door. "JAMES I HATE WHEN YOU DO THAT!"

"Do what?"

"Just…leave me hanging!"

"I know, but that makes the sex so much better." He laughed, winked at her, and quickly ran out the door. She pouted and threw herself on the sofa. "NO MORE TEASING!" She shouted into one of the throw pillows.

Four weeks later after the boys had their little 'lockdown' session; they now had to go back to filming for the show as well as work on recording their third album. It was a crazy balance they had to do and this was the start of the couples seeing each other less and less. With most of the girls working regular 9-5 jobs, Laura was the one who was all over the place. Some days she'd be with the writers of the show overseeing their work. Later those days or on other days she'd be talking to press answering questions about the 'scandal' of her trashing the movie and now her gaining quick stardom for her stories. Then she'd have to meet with her publisher over the book of stories. It was hectic and as much as the two of them tried, they were just never able to see each other the last two weeks. They'd talk on the phone and text but it wasn't the same as verbally berating each other in person.

So the one day Laura was free, she did her usual domestic duties of walking the dog, buying groceries and doing the laundry. Late in the day she marched over to the recording studio where the boys were busy at work. After being allowed access she walked over to the couch where Carlos, Logan, and Kendall were sitting. James was in the booth recording his part.

"Well look at this, haven't seen you in days!" Carlos smiled and hugged her as she sat beside him. The other two boys stood and kissed her on the cheek. "I know I've been super busy…how about you guys?"

"Oh you know, not as busy as this rising starlet." Logan said sarcastically. Laura stuck her tongue out. "Hey I'm just trying to make my little fucked up stories come to life to terrorize people!" She defended. "How's the recording coming along?"

"Super well the fans are going to _love_ these songs. Might I say they're getting a little bit sexier." Kendall wiggled his eyebrows which made her laugh. "Sexier huh? Your fans are like five dude!"

"Umm I believe we do have some older fans!" Carlos defended, poking Laura in the ribs to prove his point. "Yeah like that mom that asked me to sign her boobs…" Logan remembered thinking of that very awkward day.

"Yeah that was totally awesome." Laura turned around to see James hovering over her. He was wearing thick black glasses and his hair was considerably shorted. "This is a nice surprise!"

"James!" She jumped up and wrapped her arms around him taking in his scent. The pair stood silent wrapped in each other's embrace for a moment. She pulled away and held his face kissing him hard before running her fingers through his hair. "Wow it's so short now! Look at you, dork with glasses!"

"I know…do you like it?" He smiled looking down at her and Laura nodded eagerly. "Yeah now you have gay hair _and_ dorky glasses."

"Always the sweetheart." He muttered kissing the top of her head. "So what are you doing here?"

"I haven't seen you for over a month! I'm finally free so…"she reached into her bag and dug around until she pulled out a container. Once it was opened the smell of macadamia nut cookies began to waft through the air. "Your mom gave me the recipe a while ago, I figured I'd try it." James stared with wide eyes and snatched the container away from her. He grabbed a cookie, bit down and sighed happily. "Oh my god…"

"Do they taste like your mom's?" Laura smiled hopeful.

"Not at all but they're really good." James nodded while Laura rolled her eyes, _bitch must put a secret ingredient and didn't tell me_ she thought. The boys cleared their throats clearly asking for a cookie.

"God no these are mine." James took the container away happily and started to walk out of the room with the cookies.

"Selfish! Whatever I'll have Tori bring me some cookies." Kendall pouted and got up walking into the recording room. Laura shrugged and left the main room to follow James. She wandered down the hall looking for him but couldn't seem to find him. "James!?" She called and there was no answer. She growled and started to walk back and felt herself get tugged violently back by her elbows. She yelped and was quieted down my James' hand. James had pulled Laura into a storage closet, and she looked around noticing the cookies resting on a shelf with a bunch of microphones and electrical equipment. "What the hell you scared me." She breathed as he pulled her hand away.

"I know. Thank you for the cookies." He smiled looking down at her. Laura couldn't help but just stare at James, the glasses and new haircut were definitely working wonders for him. "Yeah no problem."

"Well, it's been too long, so I have to thank you somehow." She raised her eyebrows staring at him. "How are you going to thank—oh…" Her questions were answered when the waistband of her sweatpants were tugged down as James dropped to his knees and reached over locking the closet door.

Sex at the recording studio, that's a new one to remember.


	18. Smokey Turkey

**(YOU GUYS ARE SO NICE OH MY GOSH! Carlos'sCupcakes—aww I'm so happy you find my story funny, makes me feel all awesome and stuff! Oh yeah I thought the recipe thing was funny too lol glad you liked it! Ahhh, mothers, always hiding their best)**

James yawned lying in his bed sprawled over the comforters. Since Thanksgiving was the following day he had four lovely days to himself to recuperate before going back to work. _Hmm, I could introduce Laura to everyone now as my girlfriend_ he thought. Sure she already knew his parents considering they were best friends, but she had never met his older sister, nor his younger brother, or his grandparents. Oh yes, Thanksgiving with the Diamond family was quite a big ordeal. He rolled over to his side and grabbed his phone.

"_No mama no puedes—_Hiii James!" Laura realized she had already accepted the call from James as she was telling her mom she couldn't ask James if he had any older men in the family that were single, right in front of her father.

"Hi Laura…I'm guessing your parents flew in from Florida huh?"

"Oh yeah it's so lovely…" She muttered. "DAD THAT PUMPKIN PIE IS FOR TOMORROW STOP!"

"_What does it matter you bought it from a store!"_ James couldn't help but laugh out loud at her father's response. "Wow, Mark is a funny guy."

"Go fuck yourself James." Laura muttered, "Now what's up?"

"I was wondering what you were doing for Thanksgiving with the parents…"

"Oh it's just going to be us three here. I'm cooking!" James snorted and Laura sighed. "I am not a horrible cook!"

"Right that's why I only ever see takeout containers in your house."

"I could cook if I really tried James!" Laura whined, and in the background he could hear her mother say 'no you can't. James chuckled once more then cleared his throat. "Well baby if you know, you set your house on fire and have no turkey you're more than welcome to come to my parent's house."

"Thank you James but my Thanksgiving Meal will be quite wonderful you'll see!"

"Uh huh, girl who can't cook says what?"

"What—ASSHOLE!" James quickly hung up the one so he could relish the fact that he got the last laugh, meanwhile Laura threw her phone on the counter and began to season the bird. Her mom walked over and began to watch as her daughter rubbed butter underneath the skin of the bird. "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"Yes mom I know how to cook!"

"Just asking….I know you were a teen and tried to make soup from the can and burned it…."

"MOM I MADE A BATCH OF COOKIES FOR JAMES I CAN MAKE THANKSGIVING DINNER!"

"Baking and cooking are two different things."

"'Mom I can cook stop." Her mother, Diana, shrugged and watched as her daughter proceeded to season the bird and cover it before stuffing it in the fridge. Laura then proceeded to attempt to make stuffing, something she had never done before. Diana watched in amusement as her daughter stopped mid-recipe, and just threw it in the oven. "IS that how you make stuffing?"

"Now it is." Laura mumbled in response. She continued to prepare dishes for the next day while her mom watched her with added commentary. During this whole process her dad was going through the refrigerator picking at food that was meant to be left for tomorrow, especially the sweets. Laura had to yell at her dad and tell him to stop eating all the damn food, but he didn't listen.

The following day Laura was frantically running around the kitchen in her pajamas. Her hair was in a messy bun and she was tripping over her pajama pants as she tried to get things in the oven before her mom noticed. "Trying to avoid me Laura?" Diana chuckled sipping her coffee at the kitchen table.

"What? No! Haha no mom why would I do that? I'm just trying to get things in the oven so we can have a nice dinner!"

"Okay, don't put too many things in the oven though."

"I think I can cook in an oven ma." Laura waved her off and once she was done putting the food to cook she went to take a shower. After that she walked back to the kitchen to find her dad finishing the pumpkin pie. "DAD WHAT THE FUCK!?"

"LAURA DON'T CURSE AT YOUR DAD!"

"What? It's store bought pumpkin pie it's fine." She growled and checked on the turkey. Seeing that it looked like it had barely cooked she cranked up the heat. "I don't think you should raise the temperature on that princessa."

"It's fine dad." Laura sighed with annoyance. "You know? How about you guys go find a store and get some more pumpkin pie and desserts since dad ate them all, okay?"

"Fine we'll be out of your hair." Her mom stood up and slapped herdad on the arm. "Let's go fatty."

"I'm not fat just big-boned." He said in defense as they took Laura's keys and left the house. Finally alone, she sighed happily and flopped on the couch to take a nap. Nearly two hours later she woke up to a different smell and Gizmo barking frantically and biting her hand. "Ow! What the—OH MY GOD!" Terrified she looked at the kitchen and saw smoke wafting out of the oven. Laura got up and opened the oven and coughed waving her hand in front of her face as smoke shot out and fogged up her vision. "SHIT SSHIT SHIT SHIT NO!" She yelled and ran around frantically looking for her fire extinguisher. The door opened and her parents walked in. "DIOS MIO MARK!" her mother yelled pointing at the kitchen. Mark dropped the bags and ran into the kitchen shoving Laura out of the way and taking the fire extinguisher from her. "NO NO NO I CAN SAVE THAT TURKEY!"

Meanwhile Diana grabbed Lauara's phone and called James as she started to open all of the windows.

"Hey Laura-Bear Happy Thanksgiving!"

"Oh this is Diana but Happy Thanksgiving to you too handsome!" James' eyebrows furrowed in confusion, why was her mother calling him on her phone. "Oh hi Diana, how are you?"

"Oh I'm better now that I'm speaking to such a handsome man." He chuckled and shook his head, he loved having that effect on older women, especially Laura's mom, it drove her crazy. "Actually Laura just set fire to our Thanksgiving dinner." James questioned how and before she could answer he heard the fight going on in the background along with the sound of the fire extinguisher doing its work.

"_No dad! JUST BECAUSE THE SKIN IS BLACK DOESN'T MEAN THE MEAT ISN'T GOOD!"_

"_WE ARE NOT EATING A CANCER TURKEY!"_

"_NOOOO!"_

"I can hear that….would you guys like to come to my parent's house for Thanksgiving?"

"We'd _love_ to James. You're such a sweetheart, now what's the address?"

"Oh Laura knows where it is! Just bring yourselves we'll have a good time."

"Oh I can imagine having a good time with you-"

"_Mom who are you talking to!?"_

"Woops gotta go handsome I'll see you later!" She quickly hung up the phone and turned around to see her daughter frowning at the oven and the crispy charred bird in the oven. "So we're going to go to James' parent's house for thanksgiving."

"Fine… I'm going to go bathe the smoke out." She muttered slinking away to the bathroom.

Two hours later the family stood outside the Diamond family home, holding the only dish Laura didn't ruin, a tray of garlic mashed potatoes. Her parents held _some_ of the desserts they bought, Mark wanted to leave some for the house because he had quite the sweet tooth. When Diana knocked on the door James' mother Donna opened it with a warm smile. "Laura! Hi sweetie." She kissed Laura on the cheek while all he could think was _the bitch left out a secret ingredient for those fucking cookies you asshole._ "These must be your parents!"

"Yes this is my mom Diana and my dad Mark, this is James' mom Donna."

"Hi Donna nice to meet you! " Diana greeted her warmly with a hug. As did Mark. "James come in here and take the food to the kitchen!" Donna yelled. James jogged over, he was wearing dark jeans and a tight red t-shirt , he grinned and stepped forward to kiss Laura but Diana stepped forward and hugged James. "Well hello handsome!"

"Hi Diana," he laughed kissing her cheek, "Hey Mark" he shook his hand. "Hey James."

"My dad and my young brother Greg are on the couch watching the game feel free to join them."

"I think I'll do just that." Mark grinned and stepped inside. Donna took Diana away to the kitchen so they could better get to know each other. James sighed of relief and pulled Laura close to kiss her. "Finally, your mom wants me so bad."

"I know don't brag." She muttered and kissed him. A cough behind them made James groan and turn around. "Laura, this is my sister Alexa…. Alexa my girlfriend Laura."

"Finally we get to meet." Alexa pushed James aside and smiled at Laura. "He always talks about you!"

"Does he now?"

"Oh yes, mostly saying how you make fun of him and berate him." The smile turned into a glare as she stared at Laura.

"Oh…but I do it jokingly."

"I don't care." The older sister glared at her before walking away. Laura looked up at James terrified and James sighed. "Yeah she's um, protective of me."

"Yeah I can see that James."


	19. Blame It On The Dog

"Your sister hates me so much James." Laura mumbled sipping her wine and leaning on the wall of the living room besides James. James glanced over to see his sister glaring at Laura, he tilted his head and moved his hand flat across his neck to tell her to cut it out. Alexa rolled her eyes and walked away into the kitchen. "I wouldn't say hate."

"You're right, she totally despises every fiber of my being." Laura snickered taking another sip. "You just _had_ to tell her how much I berate you?!" She hissed under her breath.

"Well it's pretty funny our back and forth banter I didn't think she'd go ape shit when she saw you." He laughed and wrapped his arm around her waist. "Relax nothing bad is going to happen, at least my mom loves you."

"Hey Laura do you think you might want to stop drinking and come help us out in the kitchen?" Alexa called with a glare. Laura sighed and handed James her wine glass. "If your sister kills me you and Carlos better take good care of Gizmo." She walked into the kitchen and saw it was just her and Alexa, for their mothers were outside on the back porch sipping wine and making conversation. Alexa leaned on the counter sharpening the carving knife as she stared Laura down. _Well shit James isn't the murderer of the family, it's Alexa_.

"So… Alexa, what did you need help with in here?"

"Oh nothing just wanted to talk to you." She continued to sharpen the knife. "Why do like to berate my brother hmm? Is it just some sick game you like to get off on? Being rude to him and making him feel terrible?"

"Oh now hold on I don't do it to hurt his feelings. He does the same thing to me that's our thing, we tease each other."

"Oh so telling him he has gay hair is teasing? Making him put on a dress is teasing?"

"As a matter of fact it is!" Laura replied crossing her arms over her chest. Why was she intimidated of this girl before? She's just a pretty girl roughly her height, with the same dark colored hair as James. Nothing about her screamed intimidating, so Laura felt comfortable talking back to her. Well as comfortable as one could be when someone's crazy big sister is holding a knife.

"I don't see it as teasing. I see it as you being a bitch that gets off on being rude to others you….psycho."

"Hey I am not a psycho!"

"I read your blog, I heard about the book you're releasing and the show that's coming out. I read what you said about that movie! You're just a mean person who's sick in the head. Honestly? My brother can do so much better than you." Alexa stabbed the knife back into the block and stormed out of the kitchen. Laura frowned staring at the knife block thinking over her words then laughed and shook her head. "He so won't do better than me he's an asshole." She chuckled quietly to herself before reaching into the cheese platter and grabbing a cracker.

"Did you just call me an asshole while talking to yourself?" James laughed entering the kitchen. Laura eagerly nodded and bit down on the cracker. "Well yeah your sister said you can do so much better than me, and I was just telling myself you can't because you're an asshole."

"I'm pretty sure you're an asshole too ya know." He replied, leaning down and taking the cracker from her hand with his mouth.

"Oh I'm well aware of that, that's why we work so well together." She chuckled and flicked his forehead. James groaned and pinched her arm, to which she then tried to pinch his but her fingers slipped. "Oh see that's not fair it's hard to pinch muscles."

"I know baby it's okay, you can't always win these battles we have." He chuckled and leaned down kissing her. Another cough behind them interrupted them and Laura couldn't help but think his family was full of a bunch of cock-blocks. The two turned their head to see James' younger brother Greg.

"James I get it you're happy to have a hot girlfriend, but don't do her where we make food." He replied, opening the refrigerator. James laughed and shook his head. "Nice dude. Laura this is my 18 year old brother Greg."

"Cool, hi Greg." She waved her fingertips. "Wow you look just like James."

"Well if things don't work out between the two of you we can give it a shot." He grinned popping the top on a cola can and taking a drink. James growled and stared his younger brother down while keeping a tight grip on Laura's waist. She however threw her head back and emitted a loud laugh. "Oh that's rich, yeah… keep dreaming kid." She walked past him and ruffled his hair before going outside to talk to the moms. Greg stared with an open mouth to James who just smirked. "Dude she rejected me."

"Never try to go for your big brother's main course." James warned. "It will never work." He too ruffled Greg's hair before going to the sofa and watching the game with Mark, Alexa, and his dad Patrick. Once the starring dish of the holiday was finished, Donna carried the turkey out while the rest of the women carried out the side dishes and drinks. While James sat in the middle of the table, Laura flanked one side while her mother sat on the other. "Oh handsome do you mind passing me the bread?"

"No problem Diana."

"Thanks sweetie, oh and the pitcher of water too…." She murmured watching his muscles as he reached over and picked things up for her. Laura rolled her eyes and leaned back in her seat so she could talk to her mom literally behind James' back. "Mom if you try to seduce my boyfriend on Thanksgiving we'll have a big issue. Turn it down before I spill cold water on you. You're still married you know!"

"Oh I know but I'm not going to cheat on your father don't worry, silly." She laughed and went back to gazing at James while Laura growled quietly to herself. James chuckled, hearing the whole conversation, and squeezed her knee under the table.

"So how long have you two been dating?" Alexa asked from across Laura at the table.

"A couple of months now, actually it'll be a year in late January right?"

"Yup January 23." James nodded, then leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"How lovely." Alexa muttered staring at the two. "Have you ever cheated on anyone?" James spit out his water and coughed while Laura choked on the turkey. James patted her back until she swatted his arm to let him know she was fine. He patted her back one last time and he stared up at his devious smirking face.

"Alexa Diamond that's completely inappropriate!" Donna hissed. "Laura you don't need to answer her."

"It's fine….no I've never cheated on anyone Alexa, and to be quite honest I don't appreciate you interrogating me at the dinner table. If you'd like I'm more than willing to meet you in a back alley somewhere so you can give me the third-degree." Laura smiled sweetly. Alexa gaped at her, surprised she was talking back, while Patrick leaned over and whispered 'feisty' to his wife who shook her head. "Fine…." Alexa muttered, focusing her eyes on her plate.

"Nicely done." James whispered in her ear.

"Why thank you Diamond boy." She winked at him. The meal went smoothly after that, no death threats, no Spanish inquisition there to torture Laura and murder her and blame it on some outrageous conspiracy theory. After dinner though was quite fun, when it was dessert time Mark went absolutely rampant eating the dessert.

"Dad you're going to explode you don't need one slice of every pie!" He looked up at her and shook his head disappointingly. "Laura I thought I raised you better than that."

"Oh don't worry Mark she put away an entire package of chips ahoy last week when she was visiting me on set. Pint of milk included."

"That's my girl!" Mark grinned.

"JAMES!"

"What? It's not like the time where I bought over a carton of ice cream and I only had two spoons." He laughed.

"Oh yeah? Very funny!"

"Kind of like the time you bought ten apple pies from McDonald's and had an eating contest with Carlos right?"

"OH you think that's funny?"

"I do." He grinned winking at her while the two families laughed and watched with amusement. "Alright then! Well everyone we had a small get together at my house awhile back for a friend's birthday and James farted. It smelled _so_ bad, and he blamed it on my dog." James stared at Laura mortified as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Continue playing?" She smirked staring up at her lovely boyfriend.

"OH definitely." He cleared his throat and glanced around the table making sure he had everyone's attention. "Laura cries when she watches any Pixar film."

"James uses more products to take care of himself than I do!" And so the battle waged on, the two embarrassing one another in front of each other's families for a lovely Thanksgiving.


	20. It's Been One Hell Of A Year

**(IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOOOOOWN**_**. **_**Yeah this is the end, I'm happy with the relationship laura and james have. I'll probably continue it, you know me I always find an excuse for a sequel)**

January 23rd, the day of their one year anniversary. What a crazy trip those two crazy people had along the way huh? From horrible dates to relentless sexual teasing, they somehow lasted a year. Then again who thought they wouldn't? The two of them were meant for each other in some sort of sick twisted way. They were verbally abusive and the kinkiest people out of their groups of friends. Yet the verbal abuse was all out of love, and the sexual preference was well…just fun for them.

So today on their anniversary the both of them fucked each other over but didn't say a word. James was filming for the show and due to …technical difficulties they were pushed back another two hours. So James was two hours late and he was never late. He was supposed to be dressed in a tuxedo and at Laura's doorstep at eight p.m. sharp. The two of them were going to go dancing, something he wanted to do because he had to see if Laura could participate in a dance that wasn't grinding like Shakira. Afterwards they were going to have a candlelit dinner by the pier overlooking the water. It was going to be so perfect _but_ filming came in the way and he just couldn't leave. Laura didn't call so he thought maybe he had time to shower and suit up before he went to her place. Although the dance hall was probably going to be closing soon and they were beyond late for the dinner reservations. It didn't matter though. James quickly showered and pulled his tuxedo on before grabbing the bouquet of flowers he had picked up earlier in the day and running out the door.

Now on the female end of the spectrum, Laura toooootally fucked James over. Now what happened on her side was kind of just poor time-keeping. She was at a book signing for the release of her new fucked up little book of horror tales. That went an hour over time so she had to run out of there to get to a photo-shoot she was doing with a magazine that was interviewing her. Fine, that went well, took less time than she needed so she thought she was good. It was when she stopped by the TV show set to check if they needed any help that totally fucked her over. They wanted to change one of her stories around and she had to argue that it was too crucial of a plot in the storyline to want to edit. Now if you know Laura, you know she's a stubborn rude little bitch. So she was the stubborn girl not backing down but thankfully she wasn't rude about it. By the time they were done arguing and trying to reach a compromise by starting to re-write a script it was ten o'clock. So Laura ran home and quickly took a shower. Laura pulled on a robe and pulled her wet hair back as she did her makeup. Since she never saw a call or text from James she assumed she was doing well on time and he wasn't bitching a moaning. She had just finished her makeup when the doorbell rang.

"Oh fuck I'm so done for." She muttered to herself. Laura ran to the door and opened it slightly just so James could see her done up face. "You're late!"

"I know baby I'm so sorry we were filming and the cameras got fucked up because Logan and I were kind of doing back flips and smashed into them but I'll tell you later." Laura chuckled and stepped behind the door pulling it wide open so he could walk in. Once James walked in she closed the door and turned around to face him. James turned around and laughed seeing her with wet hair wearing a robe. "Oh you're not even dressed!" He said dropping the flower onto her side table.

"See I can explain that too! There was a total time fuck up with the book signing and I got into an argument with the writers…." Laura smiled and laughed. "You look great though! Very sexy."

"Yeah I tried. I like your look too, I'll call it the 'I'm clueless on time' look."

"You know neither one of us called each other so that comment is not fair game!" Laura said quickly putting the flowers in a vase. "I don't know about you, but I'm fucking starving as hell and I'm exhausted. Now by the looks of it I see we had a great night planned…but do you want to just crash on my couch and watch the Real Housewives of New Jersey and eat takeout?" James walked over and placed his hands on her waist and stole a kiss from her. "Sounds fine by me. Now go get the menus." He grinned and slapped her ass as she walked away to her bedroom.

"You know where they are!" Laura called back as she pulled on a tank and sweatpants, then walked back out holding a white beater and black sweats for James. "Here you go. See? I keep some of your clothes here I am such a considerate and nice girlfriend it's unbelievable ."

"Or you're a creepy stalker girlfriend that steals my clothes and sniffs the crotch when I'm not here." James laughed as he took off his jacket and started to undo his shirt.

"What a fucking asshole." Laura muttered shaking her head and opening the kitchen drawer to grab the stack of menus.

"Hey you love this asshole! Well not the asshole, you love my dick but you know—" Laura silenced him by pulling him down to kiss him before shoving the stack of menus into his chest. "Feisty."

"I prefer the term FUCKING HUNGRY NOW PICK!"

"I'm not sure if I'm hungry actually." James smirked leaning on the counter and staring her down.

"Dude I will suck your dick I don't care I need food right now."

"Well since you put it that way I'll have to pick huh?" He laughed and slapped down the pizza menu in front of her. "I'll expect to get sucked off like a king today you know."

"Yeah yeah." Laura laughed reading the menu. "Okay, French fries and my half with extra cheese and pepperoni."

"And my half with sausage and green peppers, and some garlic knots." James chuckled and took out his phone to place the order while Laura grabbed a beer out of the fridge for him and water for herself. She set them down on the coffee table before plopping down on the couch where James soon joined her and Gizmo jumped on the couch sprawling out on his half and James.

"So my wallet is on the counter for when the pizza guy comes." Laura said flipping the TV channels until she found their reality show.

"It should be up your ass or something because you _know_ I don't let you pay."

"Hey I won't stop trying dude."

'I know you won't." James chuckled and leaned over to kiss her. "Whoa what is Teresa wearing?"

"I KNOW SHE LOOKS LIKE A MONSTER!" Laura laughed leaning on James and watching TV until their food came. James paid of course and set the food boxes down on the coffee table. The two happily dug in and Laura glanced up at James who had sauce staining his cheek.

"what are you looking at huh punk?" James teased with a laugh.

"Some guy with a gay hairstyle and sauce on his face." Laura laughed and wiped his cheek for him.

"Wow Laura that was the nicest most human thing you ever did." James snorted and Laura playfully shoved him. "Oh that reminds me, your gift!" Laura quickly got up and ran to her room, coming back with small envelope. While she was getting that James had reached into his pocket to pull out the box he had for her. The two quickly exchanged and Laura grinned at the diamond necklace she now owned while James stared at the picture of a snowboard.

"…A snowboard picture….thank you."

"No genius." Laura snorted shaking her head." That's _your_ new snowboard, I just thought we were going out to dinner and I couldn't carry that to a restaurant so the board is in the shop. But that's all yours for when you go on your next vacation incase it's someplace snowy."

"Wow that's actually considerate."

"JAMES!"

"I'm kidding." He laughed and leaned over to kiss her. "I love it, and I love you. Thank you Laura-bear and happy one year anniversary."

"Happy one year to you too you pretty-boy little bitch." She laughed holding the necklace up so he could put it around her neck. "I love it so much, thank you."

"Yeah you're welcome." He nuzzled her and put an arm around her, grabbing his slice of pizza and taking a bite. "I like this. I like us."

"So do I. Laid back and no pressure."

"Yeah…"James nodded and took another bite. "You still have to suck my dick though."

"Fine."


End file.
